BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE -- (Grade: F) Martin Lawrence makes for a believable big momma. FBI agent Malcolm Turner (Lawrence) travels to Georgia in order to catch a bank robber. He stakes out the house of a southern granny who's about to be visited by a woman named Sherry (Nia Long) and her young son. When Big Momma leaves town, it's up to Turner to remake himself into "momma" in order protect Sherry and nab the bad guy. The film never takes advantage of Lawrence's sassy personality. You know a film is in trouble when its best joke is an overweight woman wiggling her naked butt as she steps into the shower. -- SR (Rated PG-13.) BLOOD SIMPLE -- (Grade: A) Blood Simple has been a cult classic for some time. Like many of the neo-noirs that follows in its wake, the film has no serious themes. The action takes place in a rundown honky-tonk owned by Marty (Dan Hedaya). His unhappy wife (Frances McDormand), is having an affair with a sympathetic bartender (John Getz). Things turn complicated after Marty hires a slimy private detective (Walsh) to kill his unfaithful wife and her lover. But some botched murders put the lowlifes into unexpected jeopardy. Fifteen years after its initial release, Blood Simple still dazzles. Joel and Ethan Coen have restored their debut film in self-effacing fashion ... "all the boring parts have been removed." Blood Simple thrives on the simple agenda of having a good time. -- SR (Rated R.) BOSSA NOVA -- (Grade: B) The lives of six Rio de Janeiro residents are intertwined in this beguiling romantic-comedy. Mary Ann Simpson (Amy Irving) is a widow who has been living in Rio for two years working as an English instructor.Although she is not looking for love, Mary Ann has more than her share of admirers. Before long, everyone's lives will collide in this romantic merry-go-round.

Matched with Rio's beautiful backdrop and the mesmerizing Bossa Novas of Tom Jobim, Bossa Nova looks as sweet as it sounds. -- SR (Rated R.)BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER -- (Grade: C) Natasha Lyonne unloads plenty of deadpan comedy as a straight-laced teen queen in writer/director Jamie Babbit's sexual-identity satire. Conservative parents send their 17-year-old daughter Megan (Natasha Lyonne) to a homosexual rehab camp, True Directions, to undo her lesbianism. Megan doesn't think of herself as gay. After all, she is a cheerleader. Still, Megan admits that she does think of her fellow cheerleaders whenever she kisses her jockish boyfriend.

I admire a broad farce that's willing to skewer something as goofy as these so-called lesbian and gay rehabilitation camps. Of course, I'd admire Lyonne's film even more if it was good. -- SR (Unrated.) CHICKEN RUN -- (GRADE: B) THE VOICE OF MEL GIBSON BRINGS THE CELEBRITY OOMPH, BUT THE CLAYMATION WIZARDRY AND SLY COMEDY OF DIRECTORS NICK PARK AND PETER LORD MAKE THIS CHILDLIKE FANTASY ABOUT A GROUP OF CHICKENS DETERMINED TO ESCAPE A POULTRY FARM, INTO A WINNING COMEDY. IN A SUMMER THAT'S GIVEN US A NEW FANTASIA, THE DIGITIZED DINOS OF DINOSAUR AND THE SCI-FI BATTLES OF TITAN A.E., IT'S CLAYMATION CHICKENS THAT PROVE TO BE COMPLETELY IRRESISTIBLE. -- SR (RATED G.)

DISNEY'S THE KID -- (Grade: B) Disney's The Kid is a heartwarming comedy that thrives on Bruce Willis and his wise-guy charms. Willis dives headfirst into the role of a rude, obnoxious, arrogant image consultant Russ Duritz. He huffs and puffs in comic fashion as a stressed-out workaholic in a power suit and headset. The problem is 40-year-old Duritz is beginning to see hallucinations of himself as a chubby, geeky 8-year-old boy, Rusty (Spencer Breslin). A climactic clash between childhood innocence and adult priorities swerves into X-Files territory.

Screenwriter Audrey Wells' knack for storytelling makes the film into something more than another dumb Disney farce. The relationship between Duritz and the 8-year-old Rusty is rich. When Willis flashes his knowing smirk, The Kid leaps to life. -- SR (Rated PG.)DOLPHINS -- (GRADE: C) SPOTTED DOLPHINS, BOTTLENOSE DOLPHINS AND DUSKY DOLPHINS ARE THE HEROES OF THE LATEST IMAX ADVENTURE. THESE DOLPHINS DISPLAY A SPUNKY PERSONALITY THAT PUTS 3-D T-REXES AND WHALES TO SHAME. DOLPHINS DELIVERS WHAT WE EXPECT FROM THESE OMNIMAX ADVENTURES: STUNNING LANDSCAPE FOOTAGE, USER-FRIENDLY SCIENCE INFO AND A POSITIVE MESSAGE FOR SAVING THE ENVIRONMENT. ROBERT D. LINDNER FAMILY OMNIMAX THEATER, CINCINNATI MUSEUM CENTER, QUEENSGATE. 513-287-7000. -- SR (UNRATED.)

GLADIATOR -- (Grade: A) Russell Crowe grabs hold of Gladiator's popcorn matinee hero with a searing intensity. Maximus, a Roman general who's forced into slavery, desires to return to his family, but the dying emperor, Marcus Aurelius (Richard Harris), wants Maximus to assume his mantle of power. It's a decision that throws the Emperor's son Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix) into a jealous rage. Vengeance arrives for Maximus via his newfound fame as a gladiator.Moviemaking loses something when it's a copy of a copy of a copy. Gladiator saves itself from lopsided comparisons by standing on the merits of its own timeless hero. -- SR (Rated R.)GONE IN 60 SECONDS -- (Grade: F) Nicolas Cage's distinct presence and charisma are squashed by the dull road play of this film. To save the butt of his brother, "Memphis" Raines (Cage) is pulled back into the grand theft auto business. With the help of an old mentor (Robert Duvall) and his car-thieving posse, Memphis must complete an impossible task: Steal 50 high-end cars in three days. Unfortunately, this challenge never becomes more than a collection of action sequences and explosions. You never feel like you've learned the secrets of grand theft auto and not one stunt falls into the how-did-they-do-that? category. The result is the most boring tire-squealing ever put on film. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)THE IN CROWD -- (Grade: F) No amount of pretty faces, hard bodies and sexual foreplay can save this dull attempt at a country club thriller. Adrien Williams (Lori Heuring) leaves behind her time as a psychiatric hospital inmate to get a job at a posh country club. Adrien's good looks help her form a friendship with the club's sexy girl leader, Brittany Foster (Susan Ward). But when Adrien begins to discover the truth behind Brittany's past, the cinematic cat fight jolts into overdrive. By the laughable conclusion, it's clear that this crowd of pretty young things come together for no good reason. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)JOE GOULD'S SECRET -- (Grade: C) Actor/director Stanley Tucci strikes a subtle tone with this true-life tale based on New Yorker writer Joseph Mitchell's (Tucci) unusual friendship with a Greenwich Village bohemian named Joe Gould (Ian Holm). Mitchell decides to profile Gould in his New Yorker column. The burst of celebrity puts Gould in the limelight. It also forces a reluctant Mitchell into a decade-long bond with Gould.Joe Gould's Secret shows Tucci makes a bigger impact behind the camera. Tucci tells a beautiful story. The irony is that Tucci's own performance fails to bring it completely alive. -- SR (Rated R.)LOSER -- (GRADE: D) JASON BIGGS IS BELIEVABLY NERDY AS A SMALL-TOWN FARM BOY UNPREPARED FOR HIS NEW LIFE AS A NYU STUDENT. "AMERICAN BEAUTY" MENA SUVARI FLASHES PLENTY OF DOWNTOWN SPUNK AS THE POOR COED SLEEPING WITH HER SMARMY ENGLISH LIT PROFESSOR (GREG KINNEAR). BUT WRITER-DIRECTOR AMY HECKERLING'S (CLUELESS, FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH) INTENT WAS FOR LOSER TO BE A ROMANTIC COMEDY. A LACK OF SPARK BETWEEN BIGGS AND SUVARI SQUASHES ANY CHANCE AT A BELIEVABLE LOVE AFFAIR. A REDUNDANT SERIES OF CAMPUS HIJINKS IS ALL THAT'S LEFT BEFORE THE FILM'S ANTI-CLIMACTIC KISS. -- SR (RATED PG-13.)

ME, MYSELF & IRENE -- (GRADE: C) ME, MYSELF & IRENE DOESN'T COME CLOSE TO MATCHING BOBBY AND PETER FARRELLY'S LAST COMEDY, THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY. GRANTED, IT HAS ITS SHARE OF FUNNY MOMENTS. RHODE ISLAND STATE TROOPER CHARLIE BAILEYGATE (CARREY) IS A NICE GUY WHO GETS CONSTANTLY PUSHED AROUND. CHARLIE SNAPS, DEVELOPING A SPLIT PERSONALITY NAMED HANK, A NON-STOP SOURCE OF GROSS-OUT SLAPSTICK. MATTERS TURN COMPLICATED WHEN CHARLIE MEETS A PRETTY BLONDE NAMED IRENE (RENéE ZELLWEGER). CHARLIE IS SMITTEN, SO IS HANK, PUTTING IRENE IN A SCHIZO BATTLE FOR HER AFFECTIONS. -- SR (RATED R.)

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 2 -- (Grade B) Tom Cruise is bruised, beaten and battered by director John Woo's martial-arts mayhem in M:I2. Cruise faces numerous explosions, elaborate stunts, countless kicks to the head and non-stop gunfire. Impossible Mission Force agent Ethan Hunt (Cruise) returns to fight Sean Ambrose (Dougray Scott), a renegade spy intent on destroying the world with a lethal virus.

Woo unfolds the action with slow-mo turns, ominous white doves and operatic violence set to Lalo Schiffrin's familiar musical theme -- updated in pounding fashion. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)NUTTY PROFESSOR II: THE KLUMPS -- (GRADE: D) EDDIE MURPHY'S COMIC SPUNK CAN'T SALVAGE THIS LIFELESS RETURN OF MILD-MANNERED PROFESSOR SHERMAN KLUMP. THIS TIME, SHERMAN'S LABORATORY SHENANIGANS INVOLVE A YOUTH SERUM INVENTED BY HIS PRETTY FIANCéE, JANET JACKSON. SHERMAN IS STILL TUBBY , BUT HIS DEVILISH ALTER EGO BUDDY LOVE RECEIVES LITTLE SCREEN TIME IN NUTTY PROFESSOR II. THIS TIME AROUND, MURPHY STAYS BUSY PLAYING ALL MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY KLUMP. HIS MAKE-UP EFFECTS COMEDY LOSES STEAM AFTER A BARRAGE OF VIAGRA JOKES. THIS KLUMP FAMILY REUNION NEEDED TO BE MORE THAN JUST A ONE-JOKE SHOW ABOUT MALE IMPOTENCE. -- SR (RATED PG-13.)

THE PATRIOT -- (Grade: B) Mel Gibson tackles Stars and Stripes patriotism in charismatic fashion. Gibson plays Benjamin Martin, a South Carolina farmer who joins the Revolutionary War to fight against the British.Director Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, Godzilla and Stargate) milks this moviemade history lesson for ample melodramatic hokum. Special-effects-driven battle scenes color the adventure in blood red. It helps that Gibson faces a worthy villain in the vicious Col. William Tavington (Jason Isaacs). After all, a screen hero is only as interesting as his adversary. -- SR (Rated R.) THE PERFECT STORM -- (Grade: C) One hundred and twenty feet of rising sea is the climactic star of The Perfect Storm, a real-life adventure set on a storm-battered swordfishing boat. Capt. Billy Tyne (George Clooney) and his six-man crew of the Andrea Gail prepare to leave Gloucester, Mass., for a rich fishing area off the coast of Newfoundland. Hoping to end his streak of bad luck with a profitable trip, Tyne never imagined the Andrea Gail would run into the storm of the century.

Despite his all-American looks, The Perfect Storm and Clooney aren't a good fit. The Perfect Storm's human drama and working-class heroes are reduced to a single special-effect shot. -- SR (Rated PG-13.) POKéMON 2000 -- (Grade: D) Another Japanese invasion of animated monsters arrive at local plexes with all their own personal histories and hefty merchandise catalogue intact. For the young, Pokey faithful, the fact that the film is fairly dull means nothing.The boy Pokémon trainer Ash is back. So is his yellow mascot Pikachu. More importantly, the Pokémon universe gets a little larger courtesy of six new Pokémon characters.

Pokémon 2000 continues the Japanese tradition of eco-friendly storytelling familiar to fans of old Godzilla movies. Child-friendly themes about courage, strength and ecology gets lost in the sloppy plot about Ash saving the world. Pokémon 2000 is a shameless commercial for more Pokey stuff. -- SR (Rated G.) ROAD TRIP -- (Grade: B) Eating the mouse is only mildly gross. What's really disgusting is how Barry (MTV shock comic Tom Green), University of Ithaca's most dysfunctional campus guide, licks the mouse's backside, sucks its tail and finally swallows it whole. Director/co-writer Todd Phillips' bawdy and surprisingly sweet-natured comedy Road Trip begins a new summer sweepstakes for the gross-out crown. College kid Josh (Breckin Meyer) and his three University of Ithaca buds, suave E.L. (Seann William Scott), brainy Rubin (Paulo Costanzo) and nerdy Kyle (DJ Qualls) travel halfway across the country to save his romance with his lifelong girlfriend, Tiffany (Rachel Blanchard). Josh accidentally sent Tiffany a videotape of his drunken infidelity with a pretty blonde named Beth (Amy Smart).

Road Trip possesses a teen-ager's impatience when it comes to comic timing. The jokes fly at you with abandon. It's the perfect reminder that the funniest movies are often the ones that don't take themselves so seriously. -- SR (Rated R.)SCARY MOVIE -- (GRADE: D) TWO SEPARATE SCRIPTS, SCREAM IF YOU KNOW WHAT I DID LAST HALLOWEEN AND LAST SUMMER I SCREAMED BECAUSE FRIDAY THE 13TH FELL ON HALLOWEEN COLLIDE IN DIRECTOR KEENEN IVORY WAYANS ULTRA-GROSS SEND-UP OF THE SCREAM GENRE. A COUPLE OF OUTRAGEOUS GAGS BREATHE SOME MUCH NEEDED FARCE INTO WAYANS' COOKIE-CUTTER PARODY. THE JOKES ARE OF THE BODILY FLUID VARIETY. THE MOST ADMIRABLE THING ABOUT SCARY MOVIE IS ITS UNASHAMED ENTHUSIASM FOR PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES OF TASTE, BUT IT'S NOT LONG BEFORE THE GAGS GROW FURTHER AND FURTHER APART. -- SR (RATED R.)

SHAFT -- (Grade: B) The private dick who is a sex machine to all the chicks has arrived in the 21st century. Shaft does its 1970's predecessor justice.When a young rich kid, Walter Wade (Christian Bale), kills a young black student, Detective John Shaft (Jackson) is on the scene to bust him. Two years later, Shaft has the chance to put Wade away for good, but he must first find the one witness who saw the murder.

Jackson exudes attitude as Shaft and brings a more humorous approach to the character. Jackson even makes light of different adversaries as they cower in fear. -- Avi Kaufman (Rated R.) SHANGHAI NOON -- (Grade: D) Jackie Chan does a western. Chan's clownish acrobatics are well-suited for a period piece. But Chan appears sluggish throughout Shanghai Noon. Imperial Guard Chon Wang (Chan) teams up with a hapless gunslinger named Roy O'Bannon (Owen Wilson). Chon has come to America for one reason. Princess Pei Pei (Lucy Liu) has been kidnapped from the Forbidden City. Now, Chon must rely on O'Bannon to help lead him to the princess.Shanghai Noon flounders in its super-sized Hollywood production. Somebody needed to tell the director that Chan supplies his own special effects. - SR (Rated PG-13.)THOMAS AND THE MAGIC RAILROAD -- (Grade: D) It happens to the best of actors. They get older, become parents and then make films expressly for their kids. Alec Baldwin climbs aboard the popular Thomas the Tank Engine franchise with Thomas and the Magic Railroad. Mr. Conductor (Baldwin) enlists a little help from his friends - both human and locomotive - to try to keep the Island of Sodor safe from mean Mr. Diesel.

The story is more convoluted than Mission: Impossible and writer-director Britt Allcroft is the only one to blame. How kids are supposed to follow this I have no idea. -- RP (Rated G.) TITAN A.E. -- (Grade: A) It's the year 3028 and a powerful alien race called the Drej has destroyed the Earth, scattering what is left of the human population across the galaxy. Only Cale (voice of Matt Damon), a lone survivor and reluctant hero, has the key to finding a ship that can save the human race from extinction. Titan A.E. does what no other animated film has ever done before by successfully blending traditional and computer animation. Directors Don Bluth and Gary Goldman keep the storytelling mature. Older audiences should appreciate the new perspective. Titan A.E. sets a new precedent for animated films. -- AK (Rated PG-13.) X-MEN -- (Grade: B) Teen angst reaches a fever pitch when a girl's first kiss violently thrusts her boyfriend into a coma. It's director Bryan Singer's ambitious way of making X-Men come alive with more than the typical superhero action. A group of mutant superheroes and their leader, Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) battle Xavier's former friend, Magneto (Ian McKellen) and his evil mutant squad to seize control of the world from humanity. With the help of two newcomers, Rogue (Anna Paquin) and Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), Xavier leads his outcast X-Men in a war to save mankind.

X-Men is ultimately a story about kids and their desire to be accepted. Adolescent angst and superhero fascination is what drives this surprising costume actioner. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)WHAT LIES BENEATH -- (Grade: D) Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer lend marquee pizzazz to this haunted house suspenser, What Lies Beneath. But the film's greatest mystery lies with a stumbling climax that best resembles a cheap slasher movie.Dr. Norman Spencer (Ford) is a respected university researcher who's seldom home. His wife Claire (Pfeiffer) gave up her career to become a housewife and raise their daughter in Vermont. Now, with the daughter off to college, Claire is beginning to hear unexplained noises in the old, lakeside house.

What Lies Beneath is filled with all the scary movie essentials: creepy music, dark lake waters, fog, a spacious house. So it's disappointing how it dissolves into a banal fit of domestic violence. The emotional breakdown of a married couple is a worthy backdrop for a supernatural thriller, but What Lies Beneath cheats audiences with its slasher-movie sensibilities. It's a cheap payoff for a movie boasting this kind of talent. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

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