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Rob Fetters
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As a multi award-winning musician, guitarist and prolific songwriter for the Raisins, psychodots and Bears, ROB FETTERS is one of Cincinnati's favorite stepchildren. Just after he returned from a successful tour with The Bears for their latest release, Car Caught Fire, I caught up with him at his day gig, as a commercial music composer and producer for Sound Images.
CityBeat: Rob, I know you grew up in the small town of Sylvania, Ohio. What are some of your fondest small-town food memories from childhood?
Rob Fetters: I liked growing my own tomatoes and popcorn. I remember my sister, Wendy, taking me to a joint that served the infamous "Moron Burger," which was as big as a dinner plate. I ate the whole thing and then passed out on the way home in my Dad's '66 Impala convertible.
CB: Obviously you weren't aware of how the burger had gotten its name.
RF: Also, trying to eat dinner with my parents while I was tripping. "Is there something wrong with your food, dear?"
CB: Any traditions that you carry on -- or steer clear of -- today with your own family?
RF: My mom hated to cook. I hate to cook. It's best left to experts.
CB: But I hear you are quite a good cook. What are your favorite foods to prepare?
RF: Oh, crap. You've gotta be really drunk to say that about me. My favorite food to prepare is pre-cooked shrimp. I'm really good at thawing things. OK, I'll admit one thing: My buttermilk pancakes rule the world.
CB: Anything your family just politely tolerates?
RF: Cuban black beans and rice. I love it. They don't. But they're afraid of me so they put up with it.
CB: What three foods are always in your fridge?
RF: Purple ketchup. Bleu cheese dressing. Tortillas.
CB: Any bad eating habits you would like to get off your chest?
RF: Yours or mine?
CB: That's another article. Let's talk about road food. Over the years you've been on the road with the 'dots and Bears. What skills have you learned in culinary survival?
RF: "The Blood is in the Beef. The life is in the Blood." That's Chris Arduser's motto.
CB: Any memorable food experiences in your travels?
RF: I bore witness as Chris Arduser ate a whole plate of grilled brains at a beachside bistro in Tel Aviv in 1986. He is a wonder. The best dinner I have ever had was by myself in Rome, when I sampled nothing but Italian ice cream at three different places.
CB: What's the most unusual way you have ever seen food used?
RF: Condiments and cold cuts may be used to create exciting bas relief images on hotel room walls behind large hanging mirrors for discovery months later by humans shouting in Spanish.
CB: Meat products seem to have a prominent place in your career. If you could throw a dinner party for any three musicians, past or present, who would you invite and what would you serve?
RF: John Lennon, Terry Adams, Jules Shear. I'd have a clam bake delivered from Maine. Graeter's for dessert. And I'd have the piano tuned.
CB: Now there's a hoe-down. Easter is coming up. Chicks or bunnies?
RF: Solid chocolate bunnies, stolen from my darling children while they sleep ...
