SAMPLER WEEKEND

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If you were to try to attend a half-dozen arts events in one weekend, it's likely you'd need the assistance of your local loan shark for enough scratch to cover the cost. Unless it's this weekend, when the Fine Arts Fund presents its 20th annual SAMPLER WEEKEND.

On Saturday and Sunday you have your choice of 200 events happening in roughly 50 locations all over town. Some are where you'd expect them -- at major museums, theaters and concert spaces -- but there are lots more, likely one in your neighborhood. If you stay close to home (that price of gasoline makes us think, doesn't it?), you won't have to spend a dime because admission to all the events is free.

If you're in Union, Ky., there are musical performances Saturday afternoon at the Boone County Public Library (8899 U.S. 42). At the same hours in Fairfield's Community Arts Center (411 Wessel Drive), you can see the Miami Valley Ballet Theatre and Tanze Performing Arts, another dance group. If you're in Milford, you might stop by the Promont House Museum (906 Main St.) for living history tours or a silhouette studio. Lawrenceburg, Ind., gets in on the act at its own public library (123 West High St.), where storytellers Virginia Wesley and Annamaria Crider portray Harriet Tubman and her friend Sophia.

Activities continue on Sunday, culminating in an hour-long performance at 4 p.m. -- family friendly, I might add -- by the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra at Music Hall. During that concert, the Fine Arts Fund will announce the goal for its 2006 Campaign, which the Sampler Weekend kicks off. (They'll be striving to raise around $10 million for Greater Cincinnati's many arts organizations.)

ELEFANT

There's no way to list all the Sampler's events here or even in CityBeat's comprehensive listings. (We'd need a special edition.) Your best bet is to pick up a free 26-page schedule booklet (at Macy's stores and elsewhere) and plan your day's activities. You can also download the entire schedule from www.fineartsfund.com. (See Events.) -- RICK PENDER

THURSDAY 08
Playing dark, romantic, lush Pop with tastef

ul New Wave quirks, fuzzy guitars and a dramatic sheen that recalls later Bowie or post-Bauhaus Peter Murphy, New York City's ELEFANT hits Bogart's on Thursday, opening for tour-mates Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Elefant formed in 2001, when NYC was littered with skuzzy indie rockers looking to dig a record deal out of the Strokes-fueled label feeding frenzy. Elefant stood out with their majestic vision (and nattier attire), flaunting a more theatrical flair and music that was profoundly catchy but also deep and thoughtful. The group's 2003 debut, Sunlight Makes Me Paranoid, drew rave reviews from the mainstream music press, leading Hollywood Records to snag indie imprint Kemado (which released the debut) for a distribution deal. Hollywood re-released the debut to a broader audience, building even more anticipation for the upcoming April release of The Black Magic Show, which furthers the band's velvety approach by expanding the wiry-to-dreamy soundscapes, giving the band members even more room to swagger and swoon. The Morning After Girls also perform. 513-562-4949. (See Music.) -- MIKE BREEN

LISA LAMPANELLI

THURSDAY 08
Even though there is more to her act, comedian LISA LAMPANELLI doesn't mind being called an insult comic. In fact, she encourages it. "I've never been proud of saying I'm a comedian. When I say insult comic, I just feel so happy in my heart. I just love insults. The idea of taking a shit on people and them paying for it and liking it and coming back again. And it's really cool 'cause you're like, 'Oh my god, I can't believe I got away with that!' So, I've never been prouder than when I say I'm an insult comic." If the former Rolling Stone writer reminds you of, say, Don Rickles, or another comic from that era, it's no coincidence. "I think it's in the tradition of those roasts. Remember when we were kids and the Dean Martin roasts? That was the best. Those were the only comics I ever grew up watching, so I was like, 'That's real comedy.' I always just loved that old-school kind of flavor." Lampanelli performs at Go Bananas in Montgomery Thursday-Sunday. $12-$17. 513-984-9288. (See Onstage.) -- P.F. WILSON

FRIDAY 10
Who -- child or adult -- wouldn't love being able to do the things that CURIOUS GEORGE does? Boundless and naive, even the most naughty acts he performs can be excused and, as Matthew O'Callaghan's film shows, celebrated as liberating. And there is freedom, too, in the decision to stick with a more hand-drawn approach rather than attempting to jazz things up with excessive animation techniques or pop culture references. George's chance encounter with The Man in the Yellow Hat (voiced by Will Ferrell) in the African jungle begins as playful jostling but soon becomes the antidote for The Man's need to dance along to the relaxed Jack Johnson rhythms that animate this colorful two-dimensional world. Everything about the film is simple and perfectly suited to the spirit of the Curious George stories. That includes the endearing voice work of Drew Barrymore, veterans Dick Van Dyke and Joan Plowright and comedian David Cross that never draws undue attention away from Ferrell, who feels more real here than in any of his live-action efforts. It's good to know he can be more than a winking jokester. (See Film.) -- TT CLINKSCALES

SATURDAY 11 SUNDAY 12
Don't miss your chance to experience FUNHOUSE! at the CARNEGIE VISUAL + PERFORMING ARTS CENTER, a gallery opening celebration and all-around fun event. In honor of our inner child, the Carnegie hosts MADCAP PUPPETS in the Main Gallery, where they'll showcase past and present puppets from their fabulous collection. Known nationally for their bright, oversized puppets and intelligent, entertaining performances, MadCap's puppets are not to be missed. But if that's not enough, other galleries will feature exhibitions and activities centered around Costumes & Cartoons, Interactive Sculpture, Kids Showcase and House of Cards. As part of the Fine Arts Fund's Sampler weekend, experience live music and performances, refreshments and art activities to accompany a gallery stroll. Sounds too good to miss. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. 859-491-2030. (See Art.) -- JULIE BERNZOTT

CURIOUS GEORGE

SUNDAY 12
The annual VICTORY OF LIGHT HOLISTIC HEALTH EXPO invades the area Sunday, armed with a plethora of incisive, mind- and body-altering offerings. The daylong expo features 25 seminars on holistic health and more than 50 exhibitors who have extensive knowledge in the field, including many who have integrated "alternative modalities" into their medical practices. This year's big coup is the appearance of pioneering holistic physician Dr. C. Norman Shealy, who offers a pair of presentations (3 and 5 p.m.) centering on his just-published book, Living Beyond 100: Secrets of the Fountain of Youth. 11 a.m.-7 p.m. at Sharonville Convention Center. $10; free for children under 13. 513-929-0406. -- JASON GARGANO

MONDAY 13
Do you care about the arts in Cincinnati? Have an idea that could make things even better? You can share your thoughts with some folks in a position to do something about improving the environment for creators and performers thanks to the League of Cincinnati Theatres. They're hosting an event in the Courtyard at Arnold's Bar & Grill Downtown on Monday evening to MEET THE ARTS & CULTURE COMMITTEE of Cincinnati City Council. The committee's members -- Jim Tarbell, John Cranley, Laketa Cole and David Crowley -- will be present for a mix-and-mingle in a casual happy hour setting beginning at 7 p.m. Arnold's isn't usually open on Monday evening, but for this free event they're offering up free munchies and a cash bar. Our elected officials need to hear from you about our local arts scene. www.leagueofcincytheatres.com (See Events.) -- RICK PENDER