Like many of my righteous forefathers, I found a loophole in the system that allowed me to put a positive, self-indulgent spin on an otherwise cumbersome religious tradition. If people would just do a little bit more soul-searching, then they'd see that Lent could be a hell of a lot of fun. I dread Easter when I have to give up giving everything up. Until then, pass me that bottle of ?Praise be to God.?

Click Here to Hear "Giving Up Lent"

Giving Up Lent
3/5/06

I like chocolate, I like ice cream
I like hot cocoa with a lot of whoop cream
I like wine by the bottle, I like beer by the mug
But I hate the time of year when I'm supposed to give'm up
Lent, lent, I hate your guts I get a good thing going, then you screw it all up
After 40 long days, I always feel spent So this year for Lent, I'm giving up Lent

Hot fudge sundae, brownies by the dozen
Would I like extra chocolate sauce? Lord, keep it coming.
I like sprinkles and cherries and all sorts of nuts
And I'll eat'm guilt free cuz I gave up giving em up
Lent, Lent, I hate your guts I get a good thing going, then you screw it all up
But I got an idea, I think it's Heaven sent
This year for Lent, I'm giving up Lent

Pass me a cigarette, pass a cigar
Then pass me the pint of whiskey in the jar
If the Pope ain't Catholic, then I ain't drunk
I know drinking is a sin, but I gave not sinning up
Lent, Lent, I'm liking you more
I got a good thing going in the name of the Lord
For 40 fast days I'll feel content
This year for Lent, I'm giving up Lent.