By Roger Naylor
The question of the day is, "Why would anybody want to wear women's clothes?" Well, besides women, of course.
(Nope, not a one of 'em is a woman)
Congratulations. You've just opened the TV brand, industrial-size Can-O-Worms about cross-dressers. Nothing here is clear cut. Talk to local members of Crossport, the gender support group for all Cincinnati cross-dressers, and youÕll hear every response imaginable:
It's sexy. It's erotic. It's relaxing. It makes me a nicer person. Why not? It keeps me sane. Women have better clothes.
A cross-dressing support group, right here in gender sensitive Cincinnati? This is the kind of stuff that makes Simon Leis awaken with a jolt at 2 a.m., sweating and shivering, simultaneously.
"We provide social, educational, emotional and functional support for all cross-dressers and transgendered people," says longtime Crossport member "Jennifer." (While dressed, it is proper to refer to cross-dressers using their feminine name and female pronouns) "And we include their partners, families and friends."
Yes, some spouses belong to the group, since cross-dressing presents a fairly unique obstacle course for relationships to navigate. After discovering her husband's secret after several years of marriage, one spouse comments, "I knew he was living with a secret, a part of his life that I wasn't involved with. I thought he was having an affair. And I think I could have handled another woman easier than finding out my husband was the other woman."
Let's clear up a few myths about cross-dressers: We're not talking drag queens. The term drag queen, accurately applied, describes a gay man who dresses up as a woman, often an exaggerated image of one. On the other hand, most cross-dressers are heterosexuals, often married and raising families.
Another point: Cross-dressers are not just fashion trespassers. This lifestyle is not simply about frilly things-although, for your own personal safety, don't belittle frilly things within earshot of a card-carrying cross-dresser. Frilly things are beloved.
The feminine persona is the ultimate goal. Not by sacrificing their maleness, but by integrating, to some degree, all aspects of their personality. "Men, when they're born, get shoved into this little box. They're prohibited from feeling certain things and expressing certain emotions. So they have to take half of what they are as human beings and put it away," explains "Ginger."
"When you put on a dress, it's ok to like opera, it's ok to like ballet, it's ok to like getting flowers on your birthday, it's ok to think things are pretty. So it gives you permission to feel the rest of that stuff that as a man you're not allowed to feel."
What do you do if you meet a cross-dresser?
First, don't panic. They can smell your fear. Make no sudden moves. And keep them away from the Lee Press-On Nails.
Be courteous. Strike up a conversation and satisfy your curiosity. Few cross-dressers are bashful. They are eager to educate the public and don't mind answering a few questions. They've heard them all. Especially, Why do you wear women's clothes? and What do you do with "it" when you're dressed like that?
What's a cross-dresser convention like?
(Jan Flecher and wife-Jan's on the left)
Guess what? The last one took place in Cincinnati, at the Blue Ash Holiday Inn this past summer. It was the 13th annual Be-All Convention, hosted by Crossport, and it unleashed 300 transvestites on the town. Seminars included: A to Z of Hair Removal, Legal Aspects of Cross-dressing, How to Be Romantic, Feminine Voice and Language, Developing a Sense of Fashion and Style, Sharing Your Cross-dressing With Your Family, Gender Freedom and Wig Selection, Care and Styling.
The event went smoothly. Men capable of maintaining two separate wardrobes must be blessed with highly evolved organizational skills. Response was favorable Ages at the Be-All ranged from 20s through the 70s, most were in their 40s and 50s. Many cross-dressers don't come out publicly, even to the relative safety of this sort of event, until their kids are grown and moved away. (In transvestite lingo, coming out of the closet does not mean announcing your orientation to the world, as in the gay community. Coming out simply means appearing in public dressed as a woman.)
Dos and don'ts of dressing like a woman.
Don't wear blue eye shadow. Real women can't pull it off, neither can you. Moisturize like crazy. Then use a heavy foundation to conceal 5 o'clock shadow. Use brushes, not fingers. Do dress appropriately for your age. A 50-year-old cheerleader fools nobody. If you have good legs, do show them off. But shave first, or wear nude tights. When shaving legs, use short quick strokes. Epiladys are for masochists only.
Do practice before going out in high heels. Put one foot in front of the other. Everything else will take care of itself. Remember, if you're 6'2", with a Texas-style high hair wig, in 5" heels, avoid anyplace where ceiling fans might be in operation.
For cleavage, start building those pecs up to Fabio-like proportions. Meanwhile, use tape, surgical not duct. Add padding if desired then apply blush down the middle. Be careful with positioning. A fine line separates the cross-dresser with perky breasts and the one who seems to be sporting a breast shelf. You're not filming an episode of Ò"This Old Bosom."
Do "hide your loot". The penis can be tucked, gently-with emphasis on the gently-towards the back, then secured with tight underwear. Or try cheaters panties, a gaff as they're known in the female impersonator trade. There's no business in show business, for your business to show. Gaffs are available locally, along with a full line of transvestite friendly clothes and accessories at The Thing Shop, 811 Monmouth Street, Newport.
Do contact Crossport. Get on the mailing list for their newsletter, which goes out to 800 subscribers in the Tri-State. Or inquire about attending their monthly meetings. Write P.O. Box 1692, Cincinnati, 45201.
Yes, do all of this. Then eat, drink and karaoke, for tomorrow we put on pants.©
"A woman putting on men's clothes is merely stealing power, but a man putting on women's clothes is searching for God.Ó
-Camille Paglia
"We're just guys wearing dresses. What could be more fun than that?"
-ÒGinger,Ó from Dayton
"We were eating at the Riverview restaurant in Covington and the service was impeccable. Every time we'd take a sip from our water glass someone would be there to refill it. Everyone on the staff probably visited our table at least once. They all wanted their chance to look at the transvestite. I love that kind of attention."
-ÒLinda,Ó one of the founders of Crossport
"If I would have been born a man, I would have become a transvestite."
-Dolly Parton
"I yam what I yam."
-Popeye
"I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars."
-Monty Python, The Lumberjack Song
"The eternal feminine draws us upward."
-Goethe
"God, I could kill you for that neck. It's gorgeous."
-Overheard at the last Be-All convention