When I found out more about the dog late this past fall, I felt bad for what I’d been thinking all those months. I didn’t like the dog — whatever its name was. Turns out it didn’t even have one.  

I’d pay to see a lineup of all the children and grandchildren of right-wingers — especially those directly responsible for legally shoving their definitions of “family” down all our throats — all come out publicly in a public square. I bet there are a shit-ton of ’em.
  

There’s one reason I’d really like to have children someday and one reason I want to get my tubes tied the next chance I get, and they both happen to be the same thing. I don’t want to stop being a kid myself.  

TUESDAY MARCH 26: Former presidential candidate and regular source of quotes that sound way too dumb to be true Rep. Michele Bachmann today learned that her campaign is under investigation by an independent ethics panel on Capitol Hill.  

What’s your favorite film? It’s the first question people ask as soon as they find out what I do for a living. There’s a bit of awe in the question, mixed with a challenge.   

More than 16,000 pig carcasses retrieved from Shanghai’s Huangpu River — likely dumped by farmers unwilling to make the investments to safely dispose of the bodies — have Chinese officials concerned about the safety of Shanghai’s tap water. WORLD -2    

The neighbors I have now are no doubt the friendliest, most interesting and, well, neighborly street-mates I’ve ever encountered. So why do I sometimes find myself avoiding them, or any potential friends for that matter? The concept of neighborhood etiquette (and previously, dorm life) is totally lost on me.  

WEDNESDAY MARCH 13: WWE! readers might be surprised to learn that those of us whose jobs necessitate following real news are, in general, quite terrified of the future. For every pop culture or sports story we actually care about, there are dozens of stories about things like nuclear weapons, environmental catastrophes and murderers who act nice before they kill people.   

The newest haute Hollywood beauty trend is a procedure called a “vampire facial,” which involves injecting your own blood — drawn from your arm — back into your face, to stimulate collagen production. WORLD -2   

Ensemble Theatre Cincinnati’s Black Pearl Sings! is a play come as a warning shot foretelling the modern-day recording industry (such as it is) and its sad history of theft by corporate henchmen. More obviously and tellingly, the play is also a dance of race relations, race politics and the sometimes heartbreaking history of relationships between black and white women.
  

Forests in China are suffering from huge surges in disposable wooden chopstick demand; the country produces 80 billion chopsticks per year — equivalent to the destruction of 20 million 20-year-old trees. WORLD -2   

 What work ethic I have — especially the stamina and energy to plow through until the end — I got from her. Our mother never stopped. My three blood siblings and the four stepchildren she raised can all attest to the fact that she never stopped parenting us.  

If there’s one thing that Facebook is good for, it’s learning about stuff that’s happening on the Internet. My colleague Mike Breen recently posted a humorous comment along with a story he shared titled, “Mother Tried to Sell Her Kids on Facebook for $4,000.” Mike’s take: “What an idiot! That’s what Craigslist is for!”  

Cincinnati is home to my body and my head. After almost 13 years, I’m grounded here thanks to a strong network of friends and family. But, my heart, well, let’s just say it’s holding out. Home, for my heart, is all about those extra-special intangibles, which in part come down to movie memories.   

THURSDAY MARCH 7: The American thing to do is buy an even bigger and more expensive TV than the one you already have even though it works just fine. Fountain Square, located in America, will soon follow this cultural imperative.