On April 29, 1972, Kings Island opened its gates for the first time, welcoming guest from Cincinnati and across the country to its world of rides, games and overpriced snacks. The next year, America watched the country’s first family visit that very park — no, not the Nixons, the Bradys! In an episode filmed Aug. 20-24 1974 that first aired on Nov. 23, The Brady Bunch’s architect dad Mike pitched some expansion plans for the park and brought the whole gang along to enjoy attractions like Hanna-Barbera Land and The Racer.

Forty years later, the Bradys are at it again. Barry Williams (Greg Brady), Christopher Knight (Peter Brady) and Susan Olsen (Cindy Brady) will return to Kings Island May 19 for four live shows, autographs and photo ops.

Am I the only one who had no idea Cincinnati’s Golden Child, Nick Lachey, has ties to the Kardashian Klan?! Nick and Kim dated briefly in 2006 after he and Jessica Simpson split, and in a recent interview with Details, Nick reveals the shocking claim that Kim LIVES for the papz, who somehow showed up during a private date. Thank God he ended up with former MTV VJ, Vanessa Minnillo. They seem to have a relatively normal, happy relationship and I can say this with confidence because I regularly read her mommy/lifestyle blog even though I don’t have a baby or a life. :-/

Hey, check out this sloth and cat hanging out:

Now, I know I’m about to get tarred and feathered for dissing sloths, but watching this, I kept thinking sloth was about to hand-deliver cat to death’s door. Kristen Bell, please don’t hate me.

NBC will debut a new comedy May 23 that takes place (but is not actually filmed) in suburban Cincinnati. Save Me stars Anne Heche as a housewife who develops the ability to communicate with God after a near-death experience, and she lives in none other than "Indian Hills." As a lifelong Cincinnati resident, I find it impossible to say “Indian Hills” without an unsophisticated twang. It sounds like how us simple peasant folk would mistakenly identify the most affluent neighborhood in Cincinnati. Indian Heels. In fact, I could swear that when I got accepted into a certain all-girls private institution for high school and my parents tried to politely warn me that all my friends would be richer than me, they said, “You’ll probably meet a lot of girls who live in Indian Hills!”

A scathing email that the president of Delta Gamma at the University of Maryland sent to her sorority sisters has been making its rounds this week and, in case you missed it, here’s Michael Shannon’s dramatic reading of the text. Because if anyone can make this insane, delusional letter seem any crazier, it’s Nelson Van Alden. 

The video is NSFW, unless you happen to work as a Delta Gamma house mother.

Even though Matt's alliance (six of the 10 Gota "fan" tribe members) voted off Allie last week, this week's episode opened with a very livid Shamar leaving tribal council. The Iraq War vet who seems to rub everyone the wrong way was angry that his name (voted by the four pretty people) was even on the chopping block. But his fury wasn't just directed at the three remaining cool kids. All of Gota felt his wrath, including Cincy's favorite beardo.

                                   Matt shaking his finger in Shamar’s face — something he was not allowed to discuss in a previous interview

Reynold continued his reign of douchiness by calling the vote to send Allie home "revenge of the nerds." Hey, Reynold: less bullshit, more bulge. Thanks.

Sherri talked about how she owns fast food franchises so she knows how to deal with awful teenagers, and hence, Shamar. Despite his apparently unbearable demeanor, she wants to keep him around. Shamar mentioned wanting to quit the game for about 30 seconds, but later decided he's "not gonna be the angry black man on Survivor." His revelation included an emotional story about being a a veteran and adjusting to life post-war.

Everyone quickly dried their tears and headed to the Immunity challenge, where the reward was "comfort" (beach chairs, a couple throw pillows, tarp and rope). It was a very close race, but the fans lost once again. At council, Shamar pulled out the classic reality show line — "They're trying to throw me under the bus!" — when the tribe pretty much collectively said that Shamar is a big old asshole.

The votes came in: three for Shamar, three for Hope and three for Eddie. You know what that means? It's time for a #revote! (WHO is seriously live-tweeting Survivor?).

Hope was voted out. Looks like Matt's alliance won't even turn on the utterly deplorable Shamar!

Next week: Rat hurricane!

I really can’t believe people watch this regularly.

Duchess Kate was hospitalized last week for Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which is pretty much a fancy way of saying “bad baby morning barfs.” My professional opinion is that her tiny 12-year-old boy body has gone into shock now that it requires more than its usual daily dose of three saltines and a grapefruit. Will and Kate’s baby is approximately the size of a pea at this point and people are already putting Kate’s nonexistent stomach under a microscope, asking absurd questions like "Could it be twins?" And, ever the bastion of journalism, US Weekly has a timeline of the duchess’ body changes over the past 10 years here. See Kate’s shape transform from fettuccine to spaghetti to spaghetti a la fetus before your eyes!

I’m rarely one to say “poor princess” and I love a good celebrity pregnancy as much as the next sad fool, but Kate's gone through more than a year of royal pressure to get knocked up, and now she is, but not even at the standard pregnancy announcement 3-month mark yet. Let up on her womb, yo!

If Kate was like us lowly commoners, she’d likely be Instagramming her tiny bump and tweeting from inside the hospital (Nuthin 2 worry bout, just tummy troubles #preggers). Call it over-sharing, but most people announce their monumental life moments on social media. So, thankfully, if you were trying to recall the major events you experienced this past year, Facebook has gone ahead and just done it for ya. Just go to your page, click See your 2012 Year in Review or go to facebook.com/yearinreview/[your Facebook url]. A slideshow of photos you’ve been tagged in rotates above a list of friends you’ve added and pages you’ve liked in the past 12 months. Scrolling further down, Facebook has generated what it believes to be the 20 “biggest moments” from your year, including status updates, photos and links. I’m assuming those who’ve posted about starting a new job, getting engaged/married, moving to a new city or having a baby — royal or otherwise — would see those types of announcements highlighted, but for losers like me that just incessantly post pointless crap, this feature is pretty damn funny.