Whether you’re celebrating your dad, the end of slavery, a local pork product or just a welcome break from work, there are tons of events in store this weekend. Buckle up!

As always, the Midpoint Indie Summer Series is a superb way to kick things off. Tonight The Seedy Seeds, Wymond Miles and Belle Histoire take over Fountain Square starting at 7 p.m. Grab a beer, something to eat and if you haven’t already secured your MPMF wristbands, be sure to purchase those tonight as well. Early bird tickets save you $10 — and they’re almost sold out! You can also buy tickets and check out the full Indie Summer schedule and initial MPMF band announcements here.

Barbeque may be the widely-recognized seasonal meat dish of choice, but locals know better — Cincy celebrates goetta with multiple festivals each summer. The first of which, MainStrasse Village “Original” Goettafest, begins tonight in Covington. Enjoy live music, vendors, booze and all the goetta dogs, burgers, reubens, chili and pizza your heart desires (or fears) though Sunday night.

If sampling pork dishes isn’t your thing, why not sample the best of local and regional dancers? Contemporary Dance Theater presents its annual Area Choreographers Festival Friday and Saturday at the Aronoff Center. The program features six performances from established companies and up-and-coming choreographers. Find ticket information and a full lineup here.

Many associate the end of slavery in the United States with Emancipation Proclamation, issued by Abraham Lincoln on Sept. 22, 1862 (and went into effect Jan. 1, 1863), but just a small fraction of  slaves actually benefited from this order. On June 19, 1865, Union General Gordon Granger and federal troops arrived at Galveston, Tex., it is said, to enforce the abolition of slaves there. This date represents a true end of slavery, called Juneteenth, and is recognized by 41 states. Celebrate this weekend at Eden Park with cultural music and dancing, performances, traditional storytelling, ethnic food and vendors Saturday and Sunday. This year marks the 25^th annual Juneteenth Festival in Cincinnati, predicted to be one of the largest local celebrations yet.

From a historical holiday to a fictional one, Bloomsday is also celebrated this weekend. In James Joyce’s classic epic Ulysses, Leopold Bloom embarked on his Dublin journey on June 16, 1904. Though purely a literary creation, June 16 has become a day to honor Irish heritage and culture (you don’t have to wait until March!). The Irish Heritage Center presents an evening full of traditional Irish songs, readings, performances and more Saturday beginning at 7 p.m. Admission is $10.

The Cincinnati Opera opened its 2012 season this week, and celebrates with Pride Night Saturday. Experience the tragic passion of Pagliacci and the humorous charm of Gianni Schicchi in a classical doubleheader, followed by a circus-themed bash at Music Hall. Enjoy a talent-packed performance, support the LGBT community and party it up in one night? Yeah, it’s a can’t-miss.

Are you sick of silly, humorous material taking over the internet? So is Fred Armisen. That’s why he’s created Be Serious for 30 Seconds. It’s a project, not a contest, to generate user-created videos. The videos must contain no comedy, they must be 30 seconds or shorter, feature a five-second dramatic pause and no more than two people, contain a cutaway of an object and end with a door slam. This really is serious, so no laughing, ironic humor or purposefully poor acting. Fred explains with an example below (with Portlandia co-star Carrie Brownstein).

Get it, it’s not supposed to be funny, so it is! Go here to watch some of the best submissions. 

I sometimes find myself wondering what I’d do if anything should ever happen to my beloved pets (though I’m banking on immortalizing veterinary breakthroughs/all of us dying at the same moment during the apocalypse). This guy decided to taxidermy his cat, which might be weird for some people, but I find kind of cool. But we’re not talking standard window sill-sitting pose, here. He turned his cat into a remote control kitty-copter. Watch him fly!

I genuinely apologize for adding to the audio assault that is Carly Rae Jepsen’s ubiquitous hit “Call Me, Maybe,” but this version really is the (taxidermied) cat’s pajamas.

If anyone needed further proof that The Roots can make anything cool, that’s it. Does bongo guy remind anyone else of this?

The SCP Foundation is my nerd obsession du jour. It’s one of those sites that is hard to describe, and really requires users to just jump in. But basically, it’s a database of fictional classified information. Think Wikipedia of the X-Files. Pick a series, browse top rated pages, or whatever you like, and you’ll find files on strange objects found and contained in a (again, fictional) headquarters. These objects range from oddly funny to legitimately terrifying.

It’s going to be a very Leo Christmas for moviegoers this year, as Mr. DiCaprio stars in two highly-anticipated films, Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby and Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained, both out this December.

With these respective directors, you’ll either love ‘em or hate ‘em. I, for one, can’t stop watching these trailers on repeat.

This weekend marks the end of the Fringe Festival. If you haven’t seen any shows yet, go here to check out all reviews, show times and ticket info and go see some before Saturday’s final performances. Tonight at Know Theater, local live storytelling collective True Theater presents a special Fringe edition. True Fringe features five Fringe performers who will divulge personal stories of their experiences during this year’s theatrical fest. This is a one-time event, and True Theater shows are always intriguing, so stop by Know or go here for tickets ($12). Stories being at 7 p.m.

It’s Northside Second Saturdays time again! Celebrate the funky-fab neighborhood by visiting local shops, salons, bars, restaurants and more between 6-10 p.m. Participating businesses offer sales, extended happy hours, food and drink specials and plenty o’ good times. This weekend, Fabricate opens Oh, Smell the People!, a mixed media exhibition by Michael Reuter, and NVISION presents an exhibit of youthful paintings and drawings by Angela Oster, titled Abandon Ship!.

Last Year’s Crosstown Shootout ended in an all-out brawl, and Saturday’s Rollergirls Crosstown Knockdown is sure to bring body-slammin’ action, too — on the rink, that is. If you want to see a badass competition without the worry of getting punched by an athlete, cheer on your favorite chicks on wheels as the Cincinnati Rollergirls take on the Black-n-Bluegrass Rollergirls in the first-ever Crosstown Knockdown at Cincinnati Gardens. Cincy’s B-team, the Violent Lambs will compete against the Little Steel Derby Girls at 7 p.m. and the main event kicks off at 8:30 p.m. Tickets start at just $12. If you’ve never experienced a roller derby before, this will be an awesome introduction. Grab tickets here.

Cincinnati’s curated urban flea market is back for the summer this Saturday! The City Flea makes its home at Twelfth and Vine streets in the Gateway District this season and it promises to be even bigger and better than last year’s inaugural summer. From 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday, browse the open air market with vendors like Queen City Cookies, Fab Ferments, Brush Factory, Cincy Craft Cartel, Charmingly Modern and lots more local food, arts, clothing and other retailers. Find ‘em all here.

People love comedian Aziz Ansari for his many laugh-out-loud roles. Some know him as Tom Haverford from Parks and Recreation, others recognize him from his small-yet-memorable characters in Funny People, Observe and Report or Flight of the Conchords, while longtime fans (ahem) still quote his hilarious sketches on Human Giant, but his stand-up trumps ‘em all. Saturday, the dude who has everyone “treatin’ they selves” performs at the Aronoff Center. From his family to celebrity encounters to everyday observations, Ansari brings the LOLs. Hopefully his alter-ego RAAAAAAAANDY will make an appearance. Go here to get tickets to tomorrow’s show, which begins at 7:30 p.m.

Second Sundays on Main also makes a return this weekend. Hop around OTR as you enjoy live music, food, beer and local shopping from noon-5 p.m. Sunday. Highlights this week include a Crafty Supermarket mini-market, Dr. Bongonatti's Art Parade, celebrity chef demos by Executive Chef Jose Salazar and Pastry Chef Russ Wheeler of The Palace and the ever-popular drag races.

Follow our music and To Do pages for even more fun weekend stuff.

Mingle with the fine arts crowd tonight at the Cincinnati Art Museum’s 22nd annual Taste of Duveneck. This yearly celebration of gourmet food and wine features offerings from local restaurants, vineyards and breweries. The museum’s courtyard has transformed into a biergarten, where guests can dine, drink and dance to the tunes of Soul Pocket. You could walk away with Diamond level Red’s tickets, a casino night, Chesapeake Bay getaway or other prizes from the live auction and raffle. Tickets to the Taste start at $75, $50 for the under-40 crowd. The party begins at 6 p.m.

The Jerry Springer Show is pretty much an adult three-ring circus, so it’s fitting that our former mayor is now a ringleader — for tonight, at least. Circus Mojo hosts a one-night show featuring an international cast of performers, and Mr. Springer is at the center of it all. Attractions include a seven-ball juggler from Togo, gym wheel performers from Argentina and Ethioia and an aerialist from Mexico. These professionals will perform with local students and adults with disabilities for a night that benefits Circus Mojo’s Circus Vocational Training Center. It may sound funny, but Circus Mojo is serious about creating arts and athletic programs and job opportunities for locals who are ill or disabled, disenfranchised and at-risk. Tickets to the 8 p.m. spectacle are $40; a $100 VIP tickets gets you into a pre-show reception with Jerry Springer, complete with champagne and photo ops. Classy!

P² (Parents & Professionals for Planned Parenthood) hosts its first happy hour meetup at Japps, from 6-8 p.m. tonight. This group has formed to in an effort to Planned Parenthood Southwest Ohio (PPSWO). P²’s mission is “to raise awareness about the vital health services that PP provides to women, men, and teens in our community, to build PP’s supporter network and to raise money for the PPSWO Community education fund.” A suggested donation of $10 gets you in the door where craft cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, music and a raffle await. Find more info here.

Fountain Square offers free entertainment every night this summer, from live music to movie nights. Salsa on the Square will get you groovin’ to Latin American tunes each Thursday from 7-10 p.m. Tropicoso performs tonight.

Drive-ins diminish every summer nowadays, but Cincinnati is lucky to have a few nearby. Celebrate Drive-In Day at Starlite Drive-In in Amelia, which screens Men In Black 3 tonight at 9:10 p.m. or Hamilton’s Holiday Auto Theatre, which shows MIB3 at 9:15 p.m. and Dark Shadows at 11:25 p.m. Go recreate a Grease scene or something.

The Fringe Festival keeps rollin’ tonight. We’ve got the series schedule and performance reviews here. After the shows, swing by Know Theatre for its Fringe Bar Series. Each night following Fringe, around 10:30 p.m., actors, volunteers, audience members and staff gather at Know's bar for Channel Fringe Hard-Hitting Action News Update, drinks and fun. Tonight is Segway night. Get down like George Jetson!

It’s a nice, cool night for some outdoor entertainment and there are lots of free, weekly Wednesday events to choose from.

Party in the Park continues at Yeatman’s Cove 5-10 p.m. tonight with The Menus. Do your drinking early in the evening to conserve cash — save two bucks on beer, wine and cocktails from 5-6:30 p.m.

Clifton Cultural Arts Center kicks off its Wednesdays on the Green series tonight as well. Live music, dancing, kids activities and onsite grub from Habanero and Streetpops await! The Comet Bluegrass Allstars perform at 7 p.m.

And you can let your dreads hang free during Fountain Square’s Reggae Wednesday. Chill downtown each week with Caribbean rhythms, drinks and food from vendors. Tonight, Andy Shaw performs.

Did you know today is World Environment Day? In 1972, the United Nations designated June 5 as a day to spread global awareness of ecological issues and encourage political response. This year’s theme is Green Economy: Does It Include You? If you partake in some especially green activities this week, such as organizing a recycling drive, planting trees or working to stop plastic bag use, you can register your efforts here for a chance to win a fuel-efficient Kia!

As if you didn’t know already, thousands will flock to Riverbend tonight for Radiohead’s first Cincinnati concert. Caribou, who headlined 2010’s MidPoint Music Festival opens the show. Gates open at 5:30 p.m.; the concert begins at 7:30 p.m. Oddly, tickets are still available. Hey, Thom Yorke ain't no Jimmy Buffett.

For the handful of readers who aren’t attending, La Poste kicks off its Summer Wine Series tonight. The four-event package features three educational wine classes (tonight, July 7 and Aug. 10) and a final five-course grand tasting Sept. 11. Each event begins at 6:30 p.m. Tonight is Wine Tasting 101: Learn from sommeliers about how to taste, discover and interpret different wines. Professionals will describe sight, nose, palate and structural variations and you sip your way through each varietal and enjoy hors d’oeuvre. La Poste promises a comfortable setting for newbies to ask questions. Buy series tickets here or just admission for tonight’s course here.

The Fringe Festival continues tonight. Check out a fully lineup with reviews here.

Tonight is MOTR Pub's weekly Writer's Night. Fists of Love's Donna J hosts the open mic where all poets, musicians, singers and spoken-word artists are welcome to share original work. One artist will walk away with 40 bucks! Sign ups begin at 8:30 p.m.

In Glee, Kurt Hummel may have graduated from Lima, Ohio's McKinley High, but actor Chris Colfer will return his character's home state this summer while promoting and signing his new children's book, The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell.

Colfer, a 22-year-old Emmy nominee and Golden Globe winner, found time between takes on Glee to write a modern-day fairy tale for children ages 8 and older. He will discuss and sign the book at 3:30 p.m. July 29 at Joseph-Beth Booksellers in Rookwood Pavilion.

From Amazon: "Alex and Conner Bailey's world is about to change, in this fast-paced adventure that uniquely combines our modern day world with the enchanting realm of classic fairy tales. The Land of Stories tells the tale of twins Alex and Conner. Through the mysterious powers of a cherished book of stories, they leave their world behind and find themselves in a foreign land full of wonder and magic where they come face-to-face with the fairy tale characters they grew up reading about. But after a series of encounters with witches, wolves, goblins, and trolls alike, getting back home is going to be harder than they thought."

Portraying an openly gay character on Glee (and being open about his own sexuality) has made Colfer somewhat of an icon in the LGBTQ community. After winning his 2011 Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor, he used his acceptance speech to support kids who watch the show that deal with bullies and naysayers. Colfer was bullied not only as Kurt on Glee, but in real life and resorted to homeschooling when he was in seventh and eighth grade. Check out his sweet, inspired speech below.

Screw that, indeed!

The Land of Stories is available for sale July 17. Reserve your copy in advance at Joseph-Beth, as it is anticipated that the book will sell out before Colfer's appearance.

It is important to note that despite various website mentions, this is decidedly not “hipster” (except maybe the dancing Jews, that might be some kind of underground art trend). The song is a 2010 hit Pop song by “Hawaiian Elvis” Bruno Mars. A similar performance can be seen on this very popular television show. Nonetheless, it is really damn cute. I dare you to not get misty-eyed.

It might not be everyone’s dream proposal, but it’s such a representative 2012 slice of life: popular music, Glee-esque dancing, technology (Skype, YouTube). Just imagine their first dance as husband and wife…

If you’re not one of the couple million people who saw Battleship, don’t waste your money quite yet. Here’s every line of dialogue Rihanna says in the box office bomb.

School lunches usually suck. Although over the years many schools have committed to serving healthier, more substantial meals, the thought of cafeterias conjures up memories of greasy sloppy joes, canned fruit and square pizza. Most kids don’t mind it — who didn’t look forward to grilled cheese day? Kids aren’t concerned with nutritious content. Kids who aren’t Martha Payne, that is. GOOD shared the blog of this 9-year-old Scottish girl who became fed up with her inadequate school lunches. Under the careful supervision of her Dad, Payne created NeverSeconds, a blog of her daily school lunch with ratings (which adorably calculate number of mouthfuls and pieces of hair in every meal). The blog hasn’t even been up for two months and Payne is already getting recognition from the likes of school lunch champion Jamie Oliver. Payne, under the moniker Veg (as in Veritas Ex Gustu, which is Latin for Truth in Tasting), also invites children from around the world to send in photos and analyses of their healthy or sub-par school meals. What a cool little chick.

Anchorman 2 is really coming.

Mark Zuckerberg had a pretty busy couple weeks. He launched Facebook in the stock market, updated his relationship status and married a girl that did not dump him in The Social Network, honeymooned in Italy and ate McDonald’s there. And everyone’s pissed about all of it.

Did anyone else nearly run their car off the road when they hear what sounds like Morgan Freeman’s sweet, heavenly voice on a … library commercial?

That’s right, a guy who really sounds like Morgan Freeman voiced a commercial for the Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County.

Freestyle rap battle-meets-Draw Something: that’s how Ghost Empire Collective describes its Art of War show tonight. In the largest GEC event yet, seven artists from the collective will compete in a live art tournament. An MC will randomly select a card with a word on it for each artist, who will have 10 minutes to draw their subject (none of the artists have any idea what mystery subjects appear on the cards). Once their time is up, the audience will vote via applause for their favorites. The fun will continue until one artist remains. The Art of War goes down at The Avenue Lounge in Covington. Admission is free; the show begins at 10 p.m.

Bike month is over, y’all and there are some new two-wheelers in town. The inaugural Queen City Mods & Rockers Rally celebrates scooters (mods) and motorcyclists (rockers) with a group ride and celebration Saturday. The ride kicks off at noon at Fuel Coffee in the East End, where scooters and bikes will split up for two different scenic routes and eventually meet in Rabbit Hash, then back north to Hoffner Park in Northside around 3 p.m. The rally at the park (2-8 p.m.) will feature grub, live music, art, and lots of car-less fun. Heat things up with a retro fashion show and pinup girl contest, hosted by the Cincinnati Rollergirls. Afterwards, the group will migrate to The Comet from 9-11 p.m. Find registration, a full route and schedule here.

You don’t have to brave the city’s core to have fun this weekend, though. St. James Orthodox Christian Church in Loveland presents its annual Mediterranean Food Festival through Sunday. Enjoy Middle Eastern music, belly dancers, rides and games for kids and more authentic food you than can throw a falafel at! Have your fill of kibbeh, grape leaves, shawarma, gyros and more, 5-11 p.m. Friday, 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Saturday and 1-10 p.m. Sunday.

Always clever with a theme, Dance_MF embraces June’s National Safety Month status for its monthly event Saturday. Strap on your neon safety suit and boogie down to Northside Tavern from 10 p.m.-2 a.m. You can dance if you want to…

This weekend is a great chance to check out some Fringe Festival performances. Go here for show reviews, schedules, ticket information and more.

The highly anticipated World Choir Games are just over a month away, and the city is celebrating tonight with the premiere of “Cincinnati Singing,” a star-studded, Cincy-centric music video. Nick Lachey, Jerry Springer, Bootsy Collins and others are featured in the video with iconic shots of the city. Check out the video on Fountain Square tonight at 5 p.m. with Mayor Mark Mallory, councilmembers, Cincinnati Pops Director John Morris Russell and more, and take a peek below.. The free event will also feature performances by American Idol's Eben Franckewitz and several area choirs.

The Fringe Festival keeps on cranking out the fun and freaky performances tonight. Find the entire festival lineup here.