Ever had a bad one-night stand? Sure, we all have. But I mean like really, really bad? Like the kind of bad where the guy called out his own name or tried to pee on you or wanted you to dress up like Hannah Montana?
Out the dude and warn other women here.
So this hasn't officially happened to me yet, but my mom's best friend from high school joined when he became single again and he tells her what my status updates are. BTW my mom doesn't really know what "status update" means. She doesn't even understand what Facebook is.
Last night after the snow started coming in really thick, I took my dog outside without his leash so we could walk around. I live on a big hill that basically shuts down anytime there's inclement weather. Salt trucks don't even bother with it. So at around 2 a.m. the street was covered with this layer of untouched snow and I filled a red keg cup with some wine and walked my dog up and down the street. It was really dreamy until some college kids, who do amazing and hilarious things in snow, came out with what appeared to be their corn hole set and tried to sled down my street using the wooden part as sleds.
While other bars in Clifton and Northside were cleaning up after post-inauguration celebrations, employees and patrons of Fries Cafe, one of Clifton's historic neighborhood bars, were fleeing a fire.
So our bars may not be open until 5 a.m. (Washington D.C. is officially the party capital of the United States tonight), but there are still some sweet parties/drinking events going on around our fine city.
Also, just in case you've never wasted days and days of your life/work looking at the archives of this blog, check out Go Fug Yourself for genius and snarky commentary on all things Golden Globe and celebrity-related.
WTF, now and forever:
Last night's Golden Globe coverage has left me asking a few questions: WTF is up with Kate Winslet? (See YouTube insert.) Is "windblown" the new hairstyle (see Renee Zellweger and Drew Barrymore)? And why was every female celebrity dressed in nude (see this, this or this)?
Celebrate the end of the Bush era by planning your own Bush Bash and then putting the photos on flickr. Get in on the action and get more information by clicking here.
Here are some awesome things other people will be doing tonight. It's OK to be jealous of them while you're sipping on Austi Spumante.
Residents of Sao Paulo and La Paz in South America rock out in bright red underwear while ringing in the new year. But only if they're seeking love. If it's cash you're after, yellow underwear are called for. Dollar, Dollar Bill, Y'all.
In Port Clinton, Ohio, they say screw Dick Clark and his ball. The residents gather in the square to watch a 600-pound fiberglass walleye fish descend from a crane. Now that's a party.
Someone called "itsjustmeagain" on a commenting section of yourcranberry.com puts a piece of bread and a dollar in a baggie outside their front door to ensure a steady supply of food and money in the new year. I think I'll put an iPhone ad and a Mercedes hood ornament in my baggie. And no, this tradition does not work for potheads, so leave your bong resin and pizza crust where it is.
To drive away the bad spirits from last year, men in a Scottish village swing huge fireballs made of tar and wire over their heads as they walk through town. You can try this on New Year's Day if you wake up beside someone you don't entirely remember. Nothing says "this was probably a mistake and you should go home" better than a balls of flames mixed with a big helping of crazy.
In Finland, people will melt tin with a blow torch and throw it into water. They then interpret the shape to predict what the next year will bring. Hearts and rings mean marriage. But if by some stroke of magic your lump of tin looks like a ship, you're in for trip, and a pig shape means you won't go hungry. I don't know what part of this is more crazy: trying to argue that your lump resembles a pig or playing with a blow torch and molten metal after a night of New Year's drinking. "Aww, Haliisteen dropped his tin in his Vodka, again." I'm imagining people going into work the next day with their hands bandaged from the burns. "What happened to your hand, Bjocken?" someone would ask. A slightly hung over Bjocken replies, "I'm getting MARRIED!"
Have a great New Year's Eve everyone. Check out the parties here.