Jessie Dimmick, a 25-year-old convicted kidnaper out of Colorado, is suing a couple he held hostage for two years because they broke their promise that they’d help hide him from the police. Dimmick claims that Jared and Lindsay Rowley agreed to take an unspecified amount of cash in exchange for helping him elude the police who were hunting him in connection with the beating death of a Colorado man. Unfortunately for Dimmick, the Rowleys didn’t pinky promise. The two were taken by knifepoint from their Topeka, Kan., home in September of 2009 after Dimmick crashed a stolen van into their lawn during a high-speed chase with the popo. According to The Topeka Capital-Journal, the Rowleys gained his trust by eating Cheetos and watching Patch Adams with Dimmick until he fell asleep. They then managed to escape and the police arrested him sometime later, but not until after he was shot by a police officer whose gun accidentally went off. "As a result of the plaintiffs breech (sic) of contract, I, the defendant suffered a gunshot to my back, which almost killed me. The hospital bills alone are in excess of $160,000, which I have no way to pay," Dimmick wrote in the suit. Dimmick, who doesn’t have a lawyer, wants $235,000, according to the Capital-Journal.  

Daniel Radcliffe is in talks to be the next person to portray the late poet Allen Ginsberg in the upcoming thriller Kill Your Darlings. The film, slated for a 2012 release, will revolve around Ginsberg’s relationship with Jack Kerouac, William S. Burroughs and Lucien Carr, the man who killed Ginsberg’s lover, David Kammerer.  

Tobey Maguire has reached a settlement in a lawsuit that claims the Spider-Man star won more than $300,000 from an allegedly illegitimate poker ring organized by a Beverly Hills hedge-fund manager who is now doing time. Maguire shelled out $80,000 to kill the lawsuit, which was filed back in March by a trustee for investors who were looking to get their money back. Maguire, along with fellow A-listers Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and Leonardo DiCaprio, collected a hefty chunk of change during several invitation-only Texas Hold ‘Em games during 2007 and 2008 but was the only one named in the suit. Brad Ruderman, the brains of the operation, is currently serving a 10-year sentence for creating a Ponzi scheme that skimmed more than $25 million in investor funds to pay off his debts.  

Y’all have a good Turkey Day? You feeling fat? Well Takeru Kobayashi ate 7.5 pounds of turkey in 10 minutes. That’s what’s up. Pat Robertson’s The 700 Club last Wednesday featured Condoleezza Rice and host, a black Kristi Watts, discussing the ideal Thanksgiving side dishes. Watts asked Rice what she just had to have and Rice replied macaroni and cheese. Watts reacted enthusiastically saying, “Sister, that is my dish!” Robertson, feeling left out chimed in, “is that a black thing?” Watts simply replied, “It is a black thing, Pat …The world needs to get on board.”  

Supposedly inspired by his days of ruining jokes on SNL, Jimmy Fallon has “grounded” ?uestlove and apologized via Twitter after his house band The Roots played guest Michele Bachmann out to “Lyin’ Ass Bitch.” “I’m honored that @michelebachmann was on our show yesterday and I’m so sorry about the intro mess. I really hope she comes back,” Fallon tweeted.  

A Peruvian anthropologist by the name of Renato Davila Riquelme has stumbled upon the remains of an unidentified creature with a “triangle-shaped” skull that is nearly as large as the rest of its 20-inch-tall body. Spanish and Russian scientists claim that the remains are that of an extraterrestrial. Akron City Prosecutor Doug Powley says he has dropped the case filed against 42-year-old Bill Morrison because the “situation did not warrant a criminal conviction.” The case he’s talking about is an inducing panic charge because Morrison brought a rubber ax into a bar before Halloween. Morrison, who has been a Hollywood makeup artist, was arrested on Oct. 16 after a woman who saw the ax under his coat called 911.  

Yo! MTV Raps is coming back for one night only on Dec. 4. The show, called Yo! MTV Raps Classic Cuts, will be a retrospective broadcast on MTV2 and will feature guest appearances by the show’s original hosts, Fab 5 Freddy, Ed Lover and Dr. Dre. Busta Rhymes, Q-Tip, ?uestlove, Wiz Khalifa, Common and DJ Khaled are all scheduled to make an appearance, while DJ Premier will remix the show’s original theme song.  

Director Aaron Schneider (Get Low) is set to direct The Conscientious Objector, which tells the Hollywood version true story of Desmond Doss, the first conscientious objector in American history to win the Congressional Medal of Honor. It’s not exactly penned to be an action movie.  Director Tarsem Sing (Immortals) has been slated to direct Willy Del Toro’s old giant monster project, Pacific Rim.  Kid CuDi and Dot Da Genius are teaming up to release an album under the name W Z R D. The duo, who used to go by 2 Be Continuum (man they have some cool ass ideas for band names), will drop an LP on Jan. 30.  

Justin Bieber wants an apology after the paternity suit filed by Mariah Yeater was dropped. But he’s still going to take a paternity test. And David Beckham thinks Biebs would be a great father. PETA’s new Thanksgiving advertisement asks, “If You Wouldn’t Eat Your Dog, Why Eat a Turkey?” The simple answer is, if my dog had wonderfully delicious white meat and a crispy skin that prepped the palate for the deliciousness that is cranberry sauce then I’d eat that sonuvabitch, too.  

Turns out Biebs did not have sex with Mariah Yeater. Or at the very least didn’t impregnate her with a Bieber baby. The paternity suit filed against the pop star was dropped after Bieber’s lawyers threatened legal action against Yeater and her lawyers. Bieber was prepared to take paternity test to prove he was not the father of Yeater’s 3-month-old baby. The court date was set for Dec. 16.