Returning to work on a Monday morning after a long holiday weekend means one thing: hundreds of new e-mails in my Inbox. Coming back from Thanksgiving I had the usual assortment of press releases, spam and unsolicited guest editorials, along with some actually useful correspondence.

You've probably heard that a playoff system would solve all of big-time college football's problems, giving us a true measure of the top football teams, which will inevitably produce the best possible championship game. But you don't hear that kind of dreaming down in the college football shadow world, what used to be called 1-AA, where they really do playoffs and understand what it means.

Thank God for the holidays. If it weren't for He/She/It and a soon-to-be former Senator from Illinois, the world would be very short on hope and promise as we collectively embark on another new year.

We at WWE! don't always try our best. But our journalistic indifference results in harmless poop jokes and curse words, unlike Cincinnati Enquirer reporters, whose bad sense of humor often results in the public embarrassment of poor people.

CityBeat is supporting a holiday promotional program put together by alternative newsweeklies across the country in which we're challenging readers to pledge to "shop local" during this holiday season.

I couldn't believe Andrea was putting more salt on her French fries. We were having lunch together at the Frisch's on Glenway Avenue. She got the Big Boy platter but paid more money and substituted onion rings for the cole slaw. I had the salad bar that features, of course, iceberg lettuce.