Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted the 70th annual Golden Globe Awards Sunday, making the three-hour event pretty much bearable! Some awards were pretty predictable (Les Mis) while others were surprising (Girls) but T&A — I’m coining their celebrity couple name — kept the show fun by teasing Hollywood greats and each other. The first awards of the night went to Christoph Waltz, Best Supporting Actor – Motion Picture, Drama for Django Unchained; Maggie Smith, Best Supporting Actress – TV for Downton Abbey; and Julianne Moore, Best Actress – Miniseries/TV Movie for Game Change, which also was awarded Best Miniseries/TV Movie. Now, I think we can all lay to rest the Sarah Palin impersonation. May we never seek its comedic relief again. Keeping everyone on their toes, T&A randomly planted themselves, in disguises, in the audience as the camera panned to nominees: Next up, Homeland started to sweep the evening, nabbing Best TV Series – Drama, Best Actor (Damian Lewis) and Best Actress (Claire Danes) in the category. Danes thanked her recently born son, with whom she was pregnant while filming some of this season's craziest scenes. Cute, but she really should have named that kid Saul, right? As Michael Bloomberg said, white people love them some Homeland. Mychael Danna was awarded with Best Original Score for Life of Pi and Adele, finally out of maternal hiding, won a much-deserved Globe for Best Original Score for the eponymous hit from Skyfall. Taylor Swift was not impressed. JLo showed up looking like a slutty Queen Frostine in a what appeared to be a body paint ensemble to award Best Actor – Miniseries/TV Movie (Hatfields & McCoys) to a very boring Kevin Costner. So what do you do when half the crowd is drunk and the show starts getting boring? Bring out Bill Clinton! Willie bit his lip, thumbs upped a few times and introduced Lincoln (once everyone stopped throwing their panties onstage at him). Not missing a beat, Poehler came out, awestruck, and proclaimed, “That was Hillary Clinton’s husband!” Sa-woon. Then out come Will Ferrell and Kristin Wiig (looking foine as ever), giggling like a couple stoned teenagers, pretending to not have seen a single film in their category (Best Actress – Motion Picture, Comedy/Musical). JLaw got the prize for her role in Silver Linings Playbook, wearing what may become a major spring 2013 fashion trend: boob origami. Lawrence seems like a real human, and funny to boot. She'll be hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend. Ed Harris won Best Support Actor – TV for his role as John McCain in Game Change. Anne Hathaway dreamed a dream about winning Best Supporting Actress – Motion Picture…and it came true (Sorry, that was pretty bad). Though I did not care for her 1994 mother of the bride look. Best Screenplay went to Quentin “Don’t ask me about violence” Tarantino for Django Unchained. In a pretty surprising turn, Don Cheadle, who is awesome, won Best Actor – TV, Comedy/Musical for House of Lies, which is really not that awesome. Louie C.K. was robbed. Everyone took a little nap as Best Foreign Language Film was announced (Amour) because ENGLISH. And Brave won Best Animated Feature Film (Side note: Go watch that shit with your mom and be prepared for sobbing and family bonding). The Best Actress – TV, Comedy/Musical category was full of badass ladies, including the two hosts. Tina awaited the results with new BFF Jennifer Lopez While Amy cozied up with her new beau. Eat it, Will Arnett! But — Surprise! — it was Lena Dunham who napped the award for her role in Girls. T&A promptly poked fun at Dunham’s speech, gave a losers toast, and called out a very drunk Glenn Close. Then, things turn a turn for the…weird. Jodie Foster was honored with the Cecil B. DeMille Award, presented by Robert Downey, Jr. In her speech (the one that they actually could have cut off but didn't), Foster hopped back and forth between trying to make jokes and some genuine, serious points, making the whole thing a little hard to follow. On one hand, I can understand why some people are confused as to why, if she was going to address her personal life anyway, she wouldn’t just come out with a declarative statement about being gay. It’s important for people to see strong, positive public figures who happen to be homosexual, especially children who feel different, ostracized or unloved because of who they are. I get that. But Miss Jodie had some points in that cloudy ramble of a speech. As a celebrity who works hard to keep her life off-screen private, why should she be pressed to make some kind of grand statement, especially since she has already come out to those who know her personally? “Coming outs” can certainly be positive these days, but they’re also an invitation for attention and publicity, which she personally does not want. In her own words “I am not Honey Boo Boo Child.” For the final awards of the night, Ben Affleck won Best Director for Argo; Girls won Best TV Series – Comedy/Musical; Hugh Jackman nabbed Best Actor for Les Miserables, the same film awarded for Best Comedy/Musical; Jessica Chastain, who’s appeared in 10 films since 2011, won Best Actress for Zero Dark Thirty; Daniel “Human Chameleon” Day-Lewis shocked no one when he won Best Actor for Lincoln; and Best Film in the Drama category went to Argo. Whew. That was a lot to take in, wasn’t it, Mel?

It’s a good time to be a Louie C.K. fan. And probably a good time to be Louie C.K., since in the last year the comedian has nabbed two Emmys, wrapped a successful third season of his FX series and pretty much single-handedly changed the way performers distribute media. Where most performers might ride this wave until it crashes, taking on additional projects and endorsements, C.K. is taking the opportunity to lay low for a bit. The comedian is taking an extended break from the spotlight, putting his show Louie on hiatus until 2014. Yes, it sucks to wait more than a year for a great series, but even his most devoted fans must wipe their tears and acknowledge this smart move. Instead of ordering extra episodes, cranking out more material until he gets so burnt out he pulls a Chappelle, C.K. will be able to take the time to continue producing (directing, writing and starring in) more hilariously dark shows. Speaking of good shows we have to wait so very long for, here’s a fun Breaking Bad dance jam to get you through ‘til next summer. No spoilers, but I’ll warn you, it’s mighty addictive (heh). Everyone with an Instagram account and Starbucks latte believes they are a photographer, but most of us leave the real snapping to the pros, knowing better than to fake such a talent. Right? When two real photogs discovered an alarming number of crappy pictures taken by supposed “professionals,” they decided to call these fools out with one message: You Are Not A Photographer. The highly anticipated film Skyfall hits theaters next month, but Bond fans are already geeking out over the new theme song by Adele: This is the singer’s first release since her award-winning 2011 album, 21. She’s due to give birth to her first child any day now. Remember Dane Cook? He was that comedian that was pretty funny for about 15 minutes in 2005 but quickly joined the likes of Nickelback and Ed Hardy enthusiasts in the Douchebag Hall of Fame. Well, Dane Cook’s still around and he still sucks. Cook was set to star in a new NBC sitcom, Next Caller. Cook played host of a sex and dating-type radio show, “Booty Call,” oddly paired with a new, bubbly female co-host. I know what you’re thinking. When does this television gold hit the airwaves?! Unfortunately, NBC found the final product so dismal, they scrapped the entire series after filming four of six episodes. So, for the record, NBC felt throwing money in the toilet was a better plan than giving Cook screen time. I’ll admit, I gave Cook props for appearing on a second season episode of Louie in which he faced the accusations that he steals jokes (from C.K., in fact). But watch the Next Caller post-mortem trailer and you’ll agree this cancellation was for the best. Now, to wash away that gritty pockmarked face from your memory, enjoy this story about Ed, the peg-leg pug!Ed is one of Australia’s first rescue dogs to receive a prosthetic limb. Let this be a reminder to spay and neuter your cats and dogs and support rescue pets over breeders.It was recently announced that two of my all-time favorite humans will host next year’s Golden Globes. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will take over for Ricky Gervais, who hosted the tribute to film and television for the past three years. I could go on at length about my love for this duo, carefully citing my favorite works (everything they've ever done), but I’ll leave my official endorsement to this: Bitches get stuff done. As far as politics go, I'm pretty sure all we need to know is there was a debate Monday night and Mitt Romney has binders just chock full of women. Yes, November is going to be quite an interesting month. Who’s to say what the outcome will be? So many insane characters — how can we keep them all straight? Oh, I’m not talking about the election. I’m referring to the MFing return of R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet Hip Hopera. Trapped capped off with 22 chapters released between 2005-2007. The maestro has composed an additional 20 chapters to be released on IFC on Black Friday, Nov. 23 — a perfect way to spend your holiday eating leftovers. Here’s a peek at the latest, Chapter 23. Take it from R. Kelly, “These next chapters of Trapped in the Closet is gonna be so craaaazy."

Music Tonight: Young quartet Bua (say: "boo-ahh") brings their acclaimed traditional Irish music to the Irish Heritage Center of Greater Cincinnati for a 7 p.m. performance. Members of the group — which uses traditional instrumentation that includes wooden flute, fiddle, Uilleann Pipes, Tin Whistle, concertina and bouzouki — performed at the Center last year (each musician has other projects outside of the group) and were so fond of the venue and the audience they asked to return with the full band. Based in Chicago, Bua is a nationwide festival favorite, widely praised for their expert musicianship, passionate delivery and adherence to the foundational roots of Irish music. The group won "Top Traditional Group" at the 2009 Irish Music Awards and Bua's latest release, last year's self-released Down the Green Fields, was recently praised by Driftwood magazine, which wrote, "Damn, they killed it. Seriously. If you have any interest in the traditional music of Ireland, an emerald sound born of fiddles, pipes, whistles, and a clarity of voice that sounds like the musical equivalent of a crystal clear mountain stream and refreshes just as much, buy this album." And/or go see them in concert tonight if you're in the Greater Cincinnati area.

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Vice President Joe Biden visited Cincinnati during the Labor Day Weekend, arguing that organized labor and the American middle class are under the most direct assault in generations, while local Republicans enjoyed the fireworks for their irony. Video here.

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