by Jac Kern
76 days ago
In what can best
be described as #whitepeopleproblems, Will Smith inadvertently caused a county-wide
school lockdown last week in Ambridge, Pa. An area high school was organizing a
Fresh Prince of Bel Air themed dance (whatever
that means) so, naturally, some students were getting really into it —
19-year-old Travis Clawson even changed his voicemail recording to his own
cover of the iconic theme song. Unfortunately, an local office receptionist was
not in on the joke.The woman did not understand the voicemail recording when she called Clawson
to confirm an appointment (it has not been confirmed whether or not this woman
was in a coma from 1990-1996, but that is really the only justifiable excuse
for not knowing that tune). At some point during the recording, perhaps when
she heard “shootin’ some b-ball outside of the school,” the woman was worried
there had been a school shooting (“shootin’ some peo-ple outside of the
school?”) and called the police, who issued a lockdown at that high school and
all other schools in the county. Of course, it was soon discovered that their
was no incident and everyone was cleared. But it just goes to show you... Parents Receptionists Just Don't Understand
As Eminem so
eloquently said, Will Smith don't
gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records, but what’s considered a cuss word these days? Ask Lil
Poopy. This 9-year-old Boston native raps about lots of stuff kids like, such
as money, fine foods and coke. Yeah, Lil Poopy calls himself a coke boy (he also calls himself Lil Poopy), but,
according to the “Pop That Remix” lyrics, “Coke ain’t a bad word, Coca Cola/Coke ain’t a
bad word, it’s only soda.”
Vice featured the
tiny rapper in January,
but Poopy’s making news again now as his father is being investigated by family
services. (Thanks, Amberly!)
Did you know
Chipotle has a secret menu? The next time you’re in the Mexican fast food
mecca, try ordering a Quesarito. You know, if you could use a spare 1500
calories. Bask in its cheesy, caloric glory!
Cruises can’t seem
to catch a break these days, and I’m not talking about Tom’s quest for a new
robot bride. Ever since that Carnival Cruise became a gigantic floating overflowing toilet last month, people are not
really into vacationing by boat. Partly because of this, CityBeat now has to
find a new annual team-building event because the Mark McGrath & Friends Cruise has been cancelled.
SPOILER ALERT, maybe: American Horror Story rumor time! Fans
of the show have been theorizing the next season’s theme since co-creator Ryan Murphy
announced there were clues about the next season throughout Asylum. Many of the actors from both
previous seasons will be returning, including Jessica Lange, Evan Peters, Lily
Rabe, Taissa Farmiga, Sarah Paulson and Frances Conroy. The third season’s theme,
which changes with installment, still remains a mystery.
Here’s what we know: Set to premiere in October, this season will jump around time periods, but will
primarily stay in the present. It will take place in a setting where “true
horror has happened” (three locations, apparently). “Evil glamour” will be a
theme and Murphy has said it will be a more humorous season and he hopes to include a Romeo and Juliet-like romance,
similar to the relationship between Tate (Peters) and Violet (Farmiga) in Season One. After scrutinizing the
last season for clues, hearing songs like “Love Potion No. 9” and “I Put a Spell on You,”
my watch-group and I were hoping for a voodoo storyline taking place in the
swampy south, like New Orleans. But the Internet by and large agreed the next
season would be devoted to witches (not necessarily throwing out our wish —
voodoo is practiced by witch
doctors). And when it was announced that Kathy Bates would be joining the
season (breathe, breathe, breathe), the witch theory
seemed perfect. Can you imagine Bates and Lange as two badass mystic bitches?! AHS alum Dylan McDermott thinks so!
According to the actor, who played Ben in the inaugural season and Johnny “Son
of Bloody Face” in No. 2, the next chapter will follow the Salem Witch Trials. SQUEE!Because everyone loves lists, Complex counts
down the funniest comedies of all time, from The Three
Stooges to 30 Rock.
Hey, ever wondered how
many people were killed off in Quentin Tarantino movies, and how they bit the
dust? Miramax got you.
0 Comments · Wednesday, December 19, 2012
'Twas the week before Christmas, and on the small screen,
TV options appeared few and far between;
The DVR’s ready to record some new shows, And provide a distraction from winter woes.
by Jac Kern
Jac's roundup of pop culture news and Internet findings
It’s recently come
to my attention that it’s almost Halloween...
In my opinion,
costumes are imperative to any good October outing, but a successful ensemble
doesn’t have to be complicated. Pulling from pop culture — from favorite movies
and TV shows to current events — is a perfect way to find a culturally-relevant
costume. (And, speaking of cultures, make sure you don’t select a get-up that
mocks one. Racist costumes,
much like Daniel Tosh, are way more offensive than clever or funny.)
Dressing like your
fave TV characters is always a hit. Most television networks sell costumes
coinciding with their top shows online. Pay homage to the first season of
American Horror Story by dressing as the Rubberman or sporting the creepy Larry
Harvey burn-face mask. FX also offers costumes from Wilfred, Archer and The League. More of a Kenny Powers fan? Get his Miami Mermen look here because, in case you missed it, Powers is coming back fucking soon. Since creating your own costume is almost always preferred, put on your DIY cap and peep inspiration from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and 30 Rock.Whether you're throwing a Halloweekend party or just want to experience the weekend from your couch, peep this week's Halloween-inspired TV picks here. AMC, Syfy, ABC Family and other networks will be showing marathons of horror classics, family-friendly favorites and everything in between, in addition to new holiday-themed episodes of your favorite shows.And while there are tons of horror movies in theaters this weekend, Hollywood continues its butchery of all things sacred with the remake of Carrie. It's not in theaters 'til March 2013, but the trailer does look pretty creepy.
Off the screen
and onto politics, this being an election year promises plenty of Romney- and
Obama-inspired costumes. Expect plenty of down-and-out Big Birds, binders full of women
and horses-n-bayonets. Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing Workout Ken 2012,
aka a guy dressed as Paul Ryan from his P90XXX Time Magazine photo shoot.
Fellas, all you need are some earbuds, a red ball cap, grey T-shirt and some
free weights (fake ones if you’re not as ripped as Romney’s running mate.) Make it work!What’s orange,
fiery and generally terrifying? No, not The Great Pumpkin. The Donald! Trump recently dropped his “October Surprise,” an announcement that had bloggers
speculating all week. The statement, supposed to be detrimental to the Obama
campaign, spurred rumors of everything from Obama’s alleged coke-dealing past
to a failing relationship with his
wife. But what recently surfaced was even lamer than all of that.
requested that Obama release his college transcripts as well as his full
passport records by 5 p.m. Oct. 31 (there’s the Halloween tie-in!) and he will
donate $5 million to any charities of the president’s choosing. So,
essentially, more birther bullshit. Yawn.
Last time I checked, Trump had about the same amount of political pull as
Lindsay Lohan, so I doubt this bears any consequence on the upcoming election, but it would
be nice to see Obama stick it to the grotesque ginge and, hence, idiots
everywhere, one last time.