Speaking of Global Biotechnology Corporation PR Troubles…

It has to be difficult writing press releases defending corporations’ PR challenges when dealing with such dubious commodities as chemically enhanced foods, cigarettes, alcohol, the occasional toy that rips little kids’ hair out but doesn’t get recalled because it’s too attractive to kids at the point-of-sale, etc. Reminds us of a Mr. Show clip where GloboChem executives receive an earful from a new advertising duo, who get the CEO’s attention by explaining that the company has an image problem: “The perception is that this company is a beast, a monster, a cold heartless, smelly behemoth, run by a greedy fat, fat-headed fattypants — a fatso.” The CEO’s response? “Who do you think you are? This company cares! We were in the people business when you were in short pants. My great, great, great grandfather started this company with one single, rickety, leaky, handcrafted, slave ship and a simple motto: people selling people — to people. So don’t tell me that I’m fat!”The execs eventually come around to the idea of a new mascot: Pit Pat, the @font-face { font-family: "ＭＳ 明朝"; }@font-face { font-family: "Cambria Math"; }@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Cambria; }.MsoChpDefault { font-family: Cambria; }div.WordSection1 { page: WordSection1; }"magical pansexual nonthreatening spokes-thing." Mr. Show was an awesome sketch comedy on HBO from 1995-98 featuring David Cross (Dr. Tobias Fünke in Arrested Development) and Bob Odenkirk (a bunch of really funny stuff).