The Screen Actors Guild Awards were Sunday and I didn’t watch that low-budge mess, but here are the winners if you care. America’s girl crush, Jennifer Lawrence, nabbed an SAGy (?) for her role in Silver Linings Playbook (I know I’m late on this, but that movie is just great. Go see it.) After a non-wardrobe malfunction, JLaw accepted by citing the first job that got her the ubiquitous SAG card: an MTV My Super Sweet 16 promo. Via Dlisted:Get More: Jennifer Lawrence, Movie Trailers, Movies Blog Local drag queen Penny Tration (government name: Tony Cody) was selected to be on the fifth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race via a Facebook fan vote. The season premiered Monday on Logo and, sadly, our girl was the first to sashay away. Now, call me biased (because I am), but Penny deserved at least another week. Having spent time in The SweatShoppe, Penny’s HQ and studio, I know she’s one of the hardest working queens in the biz. She makes her own clothing and wigs, does some outstanding makeup work and looked more like a real curvalicious lady than Serena ChaCha, the other queen up for elimination this week. When the two were instructed to lip sync for their lives, it was clear Ms. ChaCha was the winner (damn her splits!). Unfortunately, Penny did not know the lyrics to “Party in the USA,” so I think we can all just blame Miley for this tragedy. Penny, we still love ya! Keep doing yo thang. Adrian Grenier (Vincent Chase to most but forever the Drive Me Crazy dude to me) tweeted big news for Entourage fans this week: the movie spinoff has been greenlit! Mind you, Entourage may follow in its sister Sex and the City’s footsteps by glossing over anything cool about the series and pooping out a 2-hour douchey bromance, but fans will certainly still flock to theaters to check it out. Adapting TV shows for the big screen is nothing new — just look at Star Trek. In Entourage’s case, a successful show on HBO for eight seasons, a movie will provide one last chance for fans to see Vince and his buddies...and one last chance to squeeze any last profitability from the series. But what about adapting shows that weren’t necessarily successful on TV in the long term? Party Down was an excellent Starz comedy from 2009-2010. Adam Scott, Lizzy Caplan, Ken Marino and a bunch of other hilarious familiar faces from TV comedy portrayed a crew of kooky caterers, each episode following them to a different catered event. It got a lot of late-in-show life love from Netflix viewers (because who watches Starz?!) but was cancelled after two seasons. Ever since, there have been hopes and rumors of a film version from fans and cast members alike. While the crossover is still unconfirmed, here’s an awesome faux trailer, made from clips from the series, with a horror twist: And because everyone loves Mrs. Doubtfire, check out a creepily realistic look at what the family film would look like if it had taken a dark turn. If you’re like most theater kids or women between the ages of 10 and 110, then you can quote Mean Girls and Les Mis like a champ and you will love this. Tonight is a night that myself and Lizbeans everywhere have been dreading for some time — the series finale of 30 Rock. You can read my full eulogy here, but I have to say while I’m happy the show is going out while it’s still good (Tina Fey and Alec Bladwin both snagged aforementioned SAG awards for their performances in the show), I’m really going to miss my weekly dose of Ms. Bossypants. From the beginning, 30 Rock has been a writer’s comedy and I will cherish every quote that has been ingrained in my brain over the past seven seasons (ex. "Live every week like it's Shark Week." - Tracy Jordan). On this momentous evening, I leave you with these life lessons from Liz Lemon. My feelings are best described by this Claire Danes supercut:

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted the 70th annual Golden Globe Awards Sunday, making the three-hour event pretty much bearable! Some awards were pretty predictable (Les Mis) while others were surprising (Girls) but T&A — I’m coining their celebrity couple name — kept the show fun by teasing Hollywood greats and each other. The first awards of the night went to Christoph Waltz, Best Supporting Actor – Motion Picture, Drama for Django Unchained; Maggie Smith, Best Supporting Actress – TV for Downton Abbey; and Julianne Moore, Best Actress – Miniseries/TV Movie for Game Change, which also was awarded Best Miniseries/TV Movie. Now, I think we can all lay to rest the Sarah Palin impersonation. May we never seek its comedic relief again. Keeping everyone on their toes, T&A randomly planted themselves, in disguises, in the audience as the camera panned to nominees: Next up, Homeland started to sweep the evening, nabbing Best TV Series – Drama, Best Actor (Damian Lewis) and Best Actress (Claire Danes) in the category. Danes thanked her recently born son, with whom she was pregnant while filming some of this season's craziest scenes. Cute, but she really should have named that kid Saul, right? As Michael Bloomberg said, white people love them some Homeland. Mychael Danna was awarded with Best Original Score for Life of Pi and Adele, finally out of maternal hiding, won a much-deserved Globe for Best Original Score for the eponymous hit from Skyfall. Taylor Swift was not impressed. JLo showed up looking like a slutty Queen Frostine in a what appeared to be a body paint ensemble to award Best Actor – Miniseries/TV Movie (Hatfields & McCoys) to a very boring Kevin Costner. So what do you do when half the crowd is drunk and the show starts getting boring? Bring out Bill Clinton! Willie bit his lip, thumbs upped a few times and introduced Lincoln (once everyone stopped throwing their panties onstage at him). Not missing a beat, Poehler came out, awestruck, and proclaimed, “That was Hillary Clinton’s husband!” Sa-woon. Then out come Will Ferrell and Kristin Wiig (looking foine as ever), giggling like a couple stoned teenagers, pretending to not have seen a single film in their category (Best Actress – Motion Picture, Comedy/Musical). JLaw got the prize for her role in Silver Linings Playbook, wearing what may become a major spring 2013 fashion trend: boob origami. Lawrence seems like a real human, and funny to boot. She'll be hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend. Ed Harris won Best Support Actor – TV for his role as John McCain in Game Change. Anne Hathaway dreamed a dream about winning Best Supporting Actress – Motion Picture…and it came true (Sorry, that was pretty bad). Though I did not care for her 1994 mother of the bride look. Best Screenplay went to Quentin “Don’t ask me about violence” Tarantino for Django Unchained. In a pretty surprising turn, Don Cheadle, who is awesome, won Best Actor – TV, Comedy/Musical for House of Lies, which is really not that awesome. Louie C.K. was robbed. Everyone took a little nap as Best Foreign Language Film was announced (Amour) because ENGLISH. And Brave won Best Animated Feature Film (Side note: Go watch that shit with your mom and be prepared for sobbing and family bonding). The Best Actress – TV, Comedy/Musical category was full of badass ladies, including the two hosts. Tina awaited the results with new BFF Jennifer Lopez While Amy cozied up with her new beau. Eat it, Will Arnett! But — Surprise! — it was Lena Dunham who napped the award for her role in Girls. T&A promptly poked fun at Dunham’s speech, gave a losers toast, and called out a very drunk Glenn Close. Then, things turn a turn for the…weird. Jodie Foster was honored with the Cecil B. DeMille Award, presented by Robert Downey, Jr. In her speech (the one that they actually could have cut off but didn't), Foster hopped back and forth between trying to make jokes and some genuine, serious points, making the whole thing a little hard to follow. On one hand, I can understand why some people are confused as to why, if she was going to address her personal life anyway, she wouldn’t just come out with a declarative statement about being gay. It’s important for people to see strong, positive public figures who happen to be homosexual, especially children who feel different, ostracized or unloved because of who they are. I get that. But Miss Jodie had some points in that cloudy ramble of a speech. As a celebrity who works hard to keep her life off-screen private, why should she be pressed to make some kind of grand statement, especially since she has already come out to those who know her personally? “Coming outs” can certainly be positive these days, but they’re also an invitation for attention and publicity, which she personally does not want. In her own words “I am not Honey Boo Boo Child.” For the final awards of the night, Ben Affleck won Best Director for Argo; Girls won Best TV Series – Comedy/Musical; Hugh Jackman nabbed Best Actor for Les Miserables, the same film awarded for Best Comedy/Musical; Jessica Chastain, who’s appeared in 10 films since 2011, won Best Actress for Zero Dark Thirty; Daniel “Human Chameleon” Day-Lewis shocked no one when he won Best Actor for Lincoln; and Best Film in the Drama category went to Argo. Whew. That was a lot to take in, wasn’t it, Mel?

Thirteen may historically be an unlucky number, but we’re all sure to be blessed with pop culture gold this year. Sure, Heidi and Spencer are back on TV and Kim Kardashian is cooking up a baby with Kanye West — don’t run for the hills quite yet. The fact that the New Year was rung in by a washed up Jamie Kennedy and a stoned Macy Gray on this low-budge Los Angeles NYE show has to be a good sign of what hot messes are to come. Here’s a peek at what’s to come in 2013. Many spoilers lie ahead; proceed at your own risk. WINTER This Sunday, the Golden Globes (aka the one show where TV and movie stars mingle while drunk) will be hosted by women for the first time ever! OK, the show has only had an official host since 2010, but it’s been Ricky Gervais every year since. This time around, dynamic duo Tina Fey and Amy Poehler run the show. The pair have a long history, back to their improv days at Second City in the ‘90s. Over the past decade+ they’ve proven their comedic chemistry on Saturday Night Live and in Baby Mama, but they’re also awesome in their respective rights, as seen on 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation. Check out some of my unlikely-but-hopeful Golden Globes picks here. The Chinese calendar may deem 2013 the Year of the Snake, but according to my diva calendar, this is definitely the Year of Beyonce. The musical maven, who just celebrated baby Blue Ivy’s first birthday with hubby and baby daddy Jay-Z, is set to sing the national anthem at President Obama’s inauguration Jan. 21. Next, she’ll fly down to New Orleans to headline the Super Bowl halftime show on Feb. 3. Bey is rumored to perform with a reunited Destiny’s Child (FINALLY) and the Hov. Just two weeks later, HBO will premiere Queen B’s full-length documentary on Feb. 16. The Bey-directed doc touts a personal, never-before-seen look at “Beyonce the person” (there’s no way she’s 100% human, but whatever) as opposed to Sasha Fierce the performer. A few things I’m really hoping to see: Jay-Z changing Blue’s Egyptian cotton diaper; Beyonce eating actual solid food; a baby bump shot to put those pesky rumors to rest; at least 13 different hairstyles/weaves. The Walking Dead returns to AMC for the second half of Season Three on Feb. 10. We’ll pick up with the new Woodbury/prison storylines introduced in early December’s mid-season finale. Fan fave Daryl has been captured by the Governor, who places him in the demented fighting arena against his brother Merle (who was pretty much presumed dead by the group after leaving a trail of blood and sawed-off hand behind in Season One). Loyalties will certainly be tested when the Dixon bros meet for the first time and, according to this sneak peak, the Woodbury clan wants them to battle to the death. Back at the prison, Rick questions his leadership role and Tyreese (a character plucked from the comics) will step up as the group’s token black guy. On the other side of the camera, showrunner Glen Mazzara, who took over for Frank Darabont after a rather sluggish second season, will be stepping down. Some speculate the move may be due to a lackluster second half of this season, but Mazzara, AMC and comic creator/exec producer Robert Kirkman all claim the departure is on good terms. We’ll see for ourselves next month; meanwhile, check out this preview: SPRING At first glance, Game of Thrones did not seem like my small screen cop o’ tea. I generally don’t read or watch anything too fantastical/mythical (but bring on the zombies and True Blood), plus the number of characters and settings almost make fictional family trees and note-taking a must. Regardless of TV preferences, though, GoT is an addictive epic. And on March 31, fans will return to Westeros for a third, slightly super-sized season. See, in the past, episodes were generally just more than 50 minutes long. This season promises several eps as long as 57 minutes, ultimately adding up to almost a whole extra episode. Way too nerdy and nitpicky? Well, that’s Thrones for you. But another fun addition to this season is that fans can now drink along with the show as New York’s Brewery Ommegang releases a series of Game of Thrones beer. The first, Iron Throne Blonde Ale, is set to debut in time for the season premiere. And speaking of TV show beer tie-ins, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia will also get its own brew with Aleman and Two Brothers Brewing Co.’s Dayman Coffee IPA, also slated to come out this March. Let’s just hope the gang hasn’t touched the stuff. And since you can’t even read the word “Dayman” without singing: Moving along to May, you better scratch those Star Wars Day and Cinco de Mayo plans. Cult hit Arrested Development is coming back with a new season, to be released on Netflix in its entirety on May 4. Of course, everyone is happy to have a little more Tobias Fünke in their lives, but this is a huge, possibly telling move for television in general. Plenty of failed shows gain a following after their demise on TV, but rarely do these shows actually get picked up again, and certainly not 7 years after cancellation. My only fear is super-fans’ high expectations will be hard to meet in just a single season. 'Til the release, catch up on the series and look out for these Easter eggs. After being pushed from its original Christmas 2012 premiere date, Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby will hit theaters May 10. The director is known for his visually exciting films, such at Romeo + Juliet (which starred Gatsby himself, Leonardo DiCaprio) and Moulin Rouge, and likes to blend contemporary music and themes in with those of the films’ eras. For example, in the following trailer, Kanye West's “No Church in the Wild” juxtaposes the 1922 setting. If that's not enough for ya, stay tuned for more 2013 pop culture previews for summer and fall.

It’s a good time to be a Louie C.K. fan. And probably a good time to be Louie C.K., since in the last year the comedian has nabbed two Emmys, wrapped a successful third season of his FX series and pretty much single-handedly changed the way performers distribute media. Where most performers might ride this wave until it crashes, taking on additional projects and endorsements, C.K. is taking the opportunity to lay low for a bit. The comedian is taking an extended break from the spotlight, putting his show Louie on hiatus until 2014. Yes, it sucks to wait more than a year for a great series, but even his most devoted fans must wipe their tears and acknowledge this smart move. Instead of ordering extra episodes, cranking out more material until he gets so burnt out he pulls a Chappelle, C.K. will be able to take the time to continue producing (directing, writing and starring in) more hilariously dark shows. Speaking of good shows we have to wait so very long for, here’s a fun Breaking Bad dance jam to get you through ‘til next summer. No spoilers, but I’ll warn you, it’s mighty addictive (heh). Everyone with an Instagram account and Starbucks latte believes they are a photographer, but most of us leave the real snapping to the pros, knowing better than to fake such a talent. Right? When two real photogs discovered an alarming number of crappy pictures taken by supposed “professionals,” they decided to call these fools out with one message: You Are Not A Photographer. The highly anticipated film Skyfall hits theaters next month, but Bond fans are already geeking out over the new theme song by Adele: This is the singer’s first release since her award-winning 2011 album, 21. She’s due to give birth to her first child any day now. Remember Dane Cook? He was that comedian that was pretty funny for about 15 minutes in 2005 but quickly joined the likes of Nickelback and Ed Hardy enthusiasts in the Douchebag Hall of Fame. Well, Dane Cook’s still around and he still sucks. Cook was set to star in a new NBC sitcom, Next Caller. Cook played host of a sex and dating-type radio show, “Booty Call,” oddly paired with a new, bubbly female co-host. I know what you’re thinking. When does this television gold hit the airwaves?! Unfortunately, NBC found the final product so dismal, they scrapped the entire series after filming four of six episodes. So, for the record, NBC felt throwing money in the toilet was a better plan than giving Cook screen time. I’ll admit, I gave Cook props for appearing on a second season episode of Louie in which he faced the accusations that he steals jokes (from C.K., in fact). But watch the Next Caller post-mortem trailer and you’ll agree this cancellation was for the best. Now, to wash away that gritty pockmarked face from your memory, enjoy this story about Ed, the peg-leg pug!Ed is one of Australia’s first rescue dogs to receive a prosthetic limb. Let this be a reminder to spay and neuter your cats and dogs and support rescue pets over breeders.It was recently announced that two of my all-time favorite humans will host next year’s Golden Globes. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler will take over for Ricky Gervais, who hosted the tribute to film and television for the past three years. I could go on at length about my love for this duo, carefully citing my favorite works (everything they've ever done), but I’ll leave my official endorsement to this: Bitches get stuff done. As far as politics go, I'm pretty sure all we need to know is there was a debate Monday night and Mitt Romney has binders just chock full of women. Yes, November is going to be quite an interesting month. Who’s to say what the outcome will be? So many insane characters — how can we keep them all straight? Oh, I’m not talking about the election. I’m referring to the MFing return of R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet Hip Hopera. Trapped capped off with 22 chapters released between 2005-2007. The maestro has composed an additional 20 chapters to be released on IFC on Black Friday, Nov. 23 — a perfect way to spend your holiday eating leftovers. Here’s a peek at the latest, Chapter 23. Take it from R. Kelly, “These next chapters of Trapped in the Closet is gonna be so craaaazy."

Happy Wednesday, y’all! Go make yourself a hump day treat because, if you didn’t know what day it is… It’s October 3rd. Let’s observe a moment of silence for 2005-era Lindsay Lohan. Tina Fey (who wrote Mean Girls) will soon end another hilarious quotable venture as 30 Rock which kicks off its final season Thursday on NBC. We’ll see Liz and Criss on their quest to make a plant baby, Jenna prepare for her wedding and countless more priceless moments from Kenneth, Jack, Tracy and the others. Go brush up on your Lemonology here. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, another returning fall comedy, is always willing to shake things up to keep the show spontaneously funny (cut to “fat Mac”). This season the show features an all new cast! If you want to lose your last hope for humanity, peep the comments on Facebook. One fan suggested,“You know what networks should do ... ASK the people when they are thinking of new cast members ! people watch the show for the cast not the content for the most part.” “You're joking? Why is Stephanie Tanner from Full House on it?!?” complained another, clearly confusing DJ with the middle Tanner sister (amateur). And FX better watch their numbers because some people will no longer be tuning in: “not good!!!!! writers will deeply regret new cast because there is no way on earth the original can be outdone a nd guess what? COUNT ME OUT AS VIEWER!” In other fake television news, the Twitter du jour has to be Fake Louie Episodes (@FakeLouieEps). Highlighting the simple yet absurd storylines featured on Louis C.K.’s FX hit, Louie, the tweets feature three-sentence descriptions of episodes that could totally exist — they just haven't been written yet. Hey, should you really be wearing that fedora? Click here to find out. In fact, if you find yourself on the above Tumblr or notice even your closest friends hiding your incessant Facebook statuses, peep this handy flowchart  to decided what to share and what to keep to yourself Because pop culture isn’t always nipple slips and baby bumps, we lost two TV stars this past week. Sahara Davenport (also known as Antoine Ashley) of RuPaul’s Drag Race and Sons of Anarchy’s Johnny Lewis, both in their twenties, flew up to the big boob tube in the sky. It has not been reported how Davenport passed; Lewis, who played the lovable “Half Sack” on Sons, allegedly murdered his elderly landlord before falling to his death from his roof. Find details here if you want to spend the rest of your day crouched in the fetal position in a dark room, quietly sobbing.