Once upon a time, there lived a presumptuous and possibly troubled, grown-ass man who made his living by pitching his voice cartoonishly high to the precipice of nasal annoyance.    

MONDAY OCT. 8: Pizza Hut will give an audience member at next week’s presidential debate at Hofstra University free pizza for life if they exploit the town hall format of it and ask one of the candidates if they prefer sausage or pepperoni as a topping during the debate.  

The Cincinnati Reds today probably won their first Central Division championship since 1995 when the St. Louis Cardinals lost to the Pittsburgh Pirates and/or the Reds defeated the Houston Astros. Should this not have occurred, it is expected to happen the following day or the next. Barry Larkin is my favorite player.