THURSDAY FEB. 28:  The Zumba Nightclub Series and rapper/DJ Lil Jon will provide the tunes for a Zumba class to be held at Bogart’s to be held April 13.  

SUNDAY FEB. 17: Today marks the 50th birthday of basketball star and cultural icon, His Airness, Michael Jordan. As one of the most exciting and dominant athletes ever, Jordan won titles at the collegiate and pro levels, was an All Star like 29 times and notably saved the human race from alien criminals in Space Jam.    

WEDNESDAY FEB. 6 Everyone knows that grocery shopping sucks, but that if you eat out too many times in a row you start wondering if your parents would call you a loser or feel bad for you if th  

TUESDAY FEB. 5: The Boy Scouts of America has decided to realize that a gay guy can play the role of gruff scout leader who probably drinks too much and yells at his kid too often just as well a straight guy.   

WEDNESDAY JAN. 23:  State Board of Education President Debe Terhar has made some folks not so happy. She shared a link on Facebook from some pitiful source who posts things like photos of our president with the caption “Where’s Lee Harvey Oswalt when you need him?” (their misspelling, not ours).    

WEDNESDAY JAN. 16: Newport on the Levee has added a new wrinkle to the movie-watching experience. The seldom-used arcade has been replaced by MacGuffins Bar & Lounge, which is now open and serving drinks that can be brought into the movie.   

WEDNESDAY DEC. 26: The Community Recorder today profiled a Florence, Ky., man named Tim Atkins for being an awesome neighbor. People call him “The Mayor of Lloyd Avenue” or “Tim the Tool Man” because of his willingness to help and let people use his tools.   

WEDNESDAY DEC. 19: Like tattoos and blood pacts with the devil, getting a pet is a decision that can have long-term effects. A guest column in today’s Enquirer explains how pets aren’t the same as other gifts people don’t like, because they cost a lot of money after you buy them and will pee all over everything.   

FRIDAY DEC. 14: The Enquirer recently published a six-part series on Barbara Joly, better known as the “Granny Robber.” Joly is currently doing prison time for robbing banks back in 2008 to support her adult son.   

 America is the type of place where people don’t read. It’s also where few people question the logic behind heeding the stone-calendar-based prophetic warnings of an ancient people whose neighbors thought the Spanish invaders on horseback were gods and not human beings.