President Obama on Tuesday pulled the ol’ “pop-in” on our friends over in Iraq, but instead of dropping a friendly “Hey buddy” like Kramer in Seinfeld, Obama told the entire nation to hurry up and become self-sufficient.  

Cincinnati is a great place to live if you´re an educated young professional who works at Procter & Gamble (they have a gym in the basement!). The Enquirer today reported that many such YPs gathered last week to promote their town to other young people who like to wear collared shirts but not ties.  

After two years of Kentucky trying to F Ohio in the B with its various Northern Kentucky casino proposals — seriously, isn’t taking away our dance clubs enough for you, Newport? — a group of Ohio casino-backers is responding in full-force.  

Cincinnati might have finally broken ground on The Banks project, but by the time people get to live, work and play in the riverfront neighborhood it could be called something completely different. The Enquirer reported today that the possibility of changing the name arose when developers Carter and the Dawson Co. realized that Cincinnati had planned its new neighborhood between two sports stadiums and a highway and then named it after one of America’s stupidest industries.   

Those of us who have been wondering what ever happened to the criminal charges brought against us months ago for being way too good at body rubs were happy to find out today that they might be gone forever. The Enquirer reported that a former bailiff is accused of taking bribes to delay cases until they´re no longer prosecutable, which takes 270 days after an arrest or 90 days in jail, and now people are demanding that their charges be dropped in accordance.  

Though our collective attention was often fractured by the local media’s coverage of poor people getting arrested, gay rights and cigarettes, national issues like housing market crashes and America’s increasingly diminished standing among the international community, we at WWE! were lucky enough to have a public medium to express our feelings and enough Internet access to look up the stuff we didn’t know anything about.  

It looks like the auto bailout plan is in big trouble, and The Los Angeles Times reported today that there is one group of people mainly to blame: the greedy workers who make American cars.  

John McCain heard about President Bush's proposed $700 billion economic-help-out plan today and said, "Hold it! America needs help from a maverick! I'm going to Washington!" and then he postponed his presidential campaign.  

John McCain spoke to a Spanish radio station today, explaining how he became a war hero, spited fellow Republicans by supporting abortion rights and then ran for president by mocking and then using his opponents' catch phrases.   

Another battle of semantics reared its easily-manipulated head today, as John McCain accused Barack Obama of calling his cute new running mate a pig.