Sorority Row (Review)

Horror retread feels like a relic from a bygone era

Sep 21, 2009 at 2:06 pm

Everyone who has asked me about this movie refers to it as a remake (of The House on Sorority Row), and while it is, this Row is all about mashing up I Know What You Did Last Summer with Scream, two franchises that weren’t asking for this kind of treatment.

The catty sorority sisters on display are as fake as their boob jobs, and the whole exercise of killing them comes across as less than pointless.

While it seems Rumer Willis (daughter of Bruce and Demi Moore) might be the most recognizable name among the young cast, the listings on the Internet Movie Database provide, if nothing else, the greatest excuse for laughs I’ve seen in some time. Character names/descriptions include the Bra-Clad Sister, Trampoline Sister, Amazed Senior Guy and the Over-It Sister, and some of these “characters” are credited ahead of the featured leads. These facts tell you all you need to know about not only the movie but also the state of the industry.

I would even argue that this speaks to how passé this whole genre has become. I wonder if college students are familiar with the fraternity and sorority system as depicted here. This movie feels like a dull and lifeless relic from a bygone age. Let’s cut it out completely. Grade: F