Minimum Gauge: Did John or Paul Write The Beatles' "In My Life"? Math Has The Answer

Mathematicians use nerdy algorithm to determine authorship of immortal Beatles' classic; woman finally arrested for blasting Verdi after torturing neighbors for 16 years; Steel Panther self-releases controversial effect pedal.

click to enlarge John Lennon is clearly dropping a secret clue about his future authorship of "In My Life" by smiling less than his bandmates in this photo from an ad congratulating them on their 1964 Grammy wins. - PHOTO: PUBLIC DOMAIN
Photo: Public Domain
John Lennon is clearly dropping a secret clue about his future authorship of "In My Life" by smiling less than his bandmates in this photo from an ad congratulating them on their 1964 Grammy wins.
HOT: Math Solves Beatles Puzzle

Though they officially shared authorship on the songs they wrote for The Beatles, John Lennon and Paul McCartney didn’t always collaborate on the tunes they brought to the band. In those cases, over the years since, most of the songs’ true authorship has come to light through interviews with the two songwriters and other means (McCartney has famously quibbled about the order of names in the "Lennon/McCartney" credits, suggesting it be switched for his songs), but there was debate over who penned 1965 classic “In My Life”; both Lennon and McCartney each said it was theirs. Now, three mathematicians believe they’ve solved the puzzle with a process that involved taking parts of other songs from the two songwriters' known individual writing and comparing the transitions, notes, chords and other aspects distinct to each. Based on that algorithm, the trio statistically determined that Lennon wrote “In My Life,” with only a .018 percent chance that it was the work of Macca.

WARM: Opera Fan Arrested for Operatic Harassment

A recent story out of Slovakia about a woman arrested for blaring Verdi’s La Traviata has the makings of a modern opera itself — hey, if they can turn Jerry Springer’s TV show into an opera, the bar isn’t especially high. The woman began cranking a four-minute aria from Verdi’s opera (as sung by Placido Domingo) to drown out the barking of a neighbor’s dog, then continued for 16 years before finally being arrested on charges of harassment and “malicious persecution,” according to the BBC. It’s unclear why it took so long. The woman faces up to three years in prison.

COLD: Steel Panther Go DIY for Controversially-Named Pedal

A comedy band that parodies the sound and dumb misogyny of ’80s Sunset Strip Hair Metal came under fire earlier this summer when they partnered with instrument audio company TC Electronic to release a new guitar pedal called “Pussy Melter.” Taken out of context, the name and promo teaser released by the company (“the tone (is) as wet as the ladies on the front row,” which is also offensive because it should be “in the front row”) understandably upset women who used TC products; after the outrage went viral, the company apologized and canceled the pedal. Now, Steel Panther has taken matters into its own hands, announcing it is selling the limited-edition distortion pedal through its website independently. The comedians/musicians toned down the language slightly in announcing the launch on Twitter, saying “the sound being created by the Pussy Melter tone pack was intended to bring pleasure to females who heard it’ and “Steel Panther is happy to announce that we are now offering pleasurable eargasms to everyone,” but the band is still keeping the pedal’s original name.