Porkopolis

While the Getting's Good
Is that a 10-gallon hat in Cincinnati City Manager John Shirey's lap, or is he just excited about the chance to change jobs? Shirey has applied for the city manager's position in Fort Worth, Texas, and confirms he's one of eight finalists. Maybe he sees the writing on the wall as his job here will soon be under control of Cincinnati's new "strong mayor."

Squealers
Pity the poor clerk at the Hustler Store who spoke to CityBeat for our Valentine's Day edition. Seems company policy forbids the help from talking to reporters. That's why General Manager Jennifer Lee called and asked the paper to quash the clerk's comments, saying she'd be fired otherwise. If the clerk loses her job, she can always quote Hustler Publisher Larry Flynt waxing poetic about the importance of free speech.

Perhaps it's time to start a legal-education fund to buy a dictionary for Keith Fangman, president of the Fraternal Order of Police's Cincinnati chapter. When a grand jury indicted two officers in the death of a suspect, Fangman said officers no longer know the meaning of "assault" and formed a legal-defense fund for the two officers. When Shirey suspended the two cops without pay last week, Fangman said the city has "declared war on police officers." Try to stay with us here, Keith.

War means killing people — that's what your colleagues are accused of.

WCPO-TV Channel 9 has informed Stonewall Cincinnati that its new public service announcement on tolerance for gays and lesbians is on hiatus. Stonewall Executive Director Doreen Cudnik says WCPO General Manager Bill Fee informed her the spot had been shelved after airing for just over three weeks. Fee told Cudnik criticism of the ad was very vocal.

As the World Turns
While Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge Richard Niehaus complains about noisy courtroom spectators, Judge Ralph E. Winkler makes his audience laugh aloud. Last week Michael Lasday of Northbrook, Ill., pled no contest to obstruction of official business and criminal mischief, charges stemming from his participation in November protests against globalization of the economy. Winkler fined Lasday a total of $463 — then asked if he had a World Trade Organization Visa card to pay the fine.

Ethan Spier, arrested while protesting the TransAtlantic Business Dialogue, has attorney Bob Newman representing him in a lawsuit over his arrest. Newman is no stranger to litigation over civil-rights abuses in Cincinnati. He pressed the lawsuit that led to improvements at, and finally the closing of, the Civil War-era Cincinnati Workhouse. Newman also handled a lawsuit against the city over illegal wiretapping and alleged police torching of the Independent Eye, an alternative newspaper.

The Port of Greater Cincinnati Development Authority finally is starting what promises to be years of riverfront work on The Banks, a mini-neighborhood planned between the new stadiums. First priority is getting Bengals owner Mike Brown to allow relocation of 1,200 riverfront parking spaces to north of Third Street. Otherwise, there's no room for The Banks and the project devolves into a sea of surface parking.

Ever wonder what undercover vice cops look like? If you're a male, here's how you can find out. At about 2 a.m. take a stroll in the 600 block of Pete Rose Way. Dress for company — and see who asks you for a ride, a drink, a roll in the sack. Gay-rights groups are receiving reports of entrapment and harassment by the boys in blue. Or pink. Or whatever they think you'll fall for.

Hamilton, Ohio, perhaps the only city in Amerika with a mayor named Adolf, is facing financial crisis. The city's bond-rating company recently warned officials they are in jeopardy of failing to meet their "coverage" obligations — a requirement to have enough income and cash reserves to ensure timely payment of principal and interest. The problem? The city has been feeding its police and fire operations with money from municipal utilities, thinly masked as "overhead" payments, for a decade. The chickens are headed home to roost.