Event: WWE SmackDown

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For the first time in 2013, the WWE SmackDown is back and is being broadcast live to the ENTIRE WORLD from our lil’ ol’ U.S. Bank Arena. I don’t actually know what SmackDown is — I mean, I can assume what it involves — but people really seem to like it. And apparently we’re going to have a pretty good group of contenders, all decked out in their wrestling outfits: The Big Show, The Celtic Warrior Sheamus, The Viper Randy Orton, The Mexican Aristocrat Alberto Del Rio (who sounds awesome), Team Hell No and many more. And apparently all these spandex-clad muscly stars are on their way to WrestleMania, that pay-per-view wrestling big deal thing. 7 p.m. $18-$98. U.S. Bank Arena, 100 Broadway St., Downtown, usbankarena.com.