Daft Conspiracy, Katy's Truck and Brown is Down

Stephen Colbert makes the best of Daft Punk cancelling its appearance on his show (though Pitchfork only gives it a 2.4); Katy Perry's gold promotional semi-truck has somehow only been involved in one accident so far; and Chris Brown is still a douchebag

Daft Punk Truthers

Stephen Colbert showed why he’s one of the funniest people on TV when Dance music stars Daft Punk bailed on the “StePhest Colbchella ’013: The Song of the Summer of the Century: It Ain’t the Heat, It’s the Rock-midity” episode of The Colbert Report. Colbert’s explanation that the cancellation was due to MTV’s insistence that DP exclusively perform at the Video Music Awards next month wasn’t enough for some conspiracy theorists. Pitchfork and other outlets found evidence that the hilarious response episode featured segments recorded prior to the day of the show’s airing, suggesting that Colbert’s Comedy Central show was shilling for MTV’s VMAs (both networks are owned by Viacom). Colbert recently gave an interview where he admitted the pieces were filmed earlier, but said that Daft Punk definitely canceled last minute (the duo was not supposed to speak or perform, he said, just … appear).

The (Drunk) One That (Didn’t Get) Away

The marketing machine behind Pop princess Katy Perry’s career decided a great promotion for her forthcoming NSA tribute, er, full-length album, Prism, would be to paint a semi-truck gold, mark it with new-album propaganda and drive it around the country’s highways. The truck got a boost of publicity for the album when the driver parked at a Wal-Mart (presumably to grab a few censored Perry albums for the ride) and was crashed into by an allegedly drunk driver’s non-blinged-out 18-wheeler. Given the shock of seeing a huge solid-gold-looking truck driving around, it’s a miracle it hasn’t been involved in hundreds of accidents.

Brown Breaks Down

A Pop star whose life resembles a gold-plated semi-truck drunk-driving crash, Chris Brown, has some thin skin under those gaudy tats. People are not forgiving the singer for beating up his ex-girlfriend, Rihanna, as fast as he’d like. After getting out of jail following a hit-and-run accident, he tweeted to “mainstream America” that he was quitting music after his next album, writing, “I’m tired of being famous for a mistake I made when I was 18.” (He is now an immature 24.) Then Brown suffered a seizure, which was not serious enough to go to the hospital, but serious enough for the singer’s rep to tell USA Today it was due to the “onslaught of unfounded legal matters and the non-stop negativity.” Ask any woman whether they’d rather be beaten up once by a trusted significant other or repeatedly by gossip websites.

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