Egged Man, Toots' Suits and a Bad Rap

Simon Cowell gets egg on his face (or at least his fancy sports coat), Reggae legend Toots Hibbert sues allegedly shady manager and a teenage bottle-hurler and a teen in Massachussetts gets thrown in jail without bail after writing really bad Rap lyrics

click to enlarge Egging on Simon Cowell
Egging on Simon Cowell

The Egged Man

No one is sure why violist Natalie Holt pelted Simon Cowell with eggs during the Britain’s Got Talent finale on U.K. TV last week, but we’re just going to pretend she was protesting the way TV talent shows make a mockery of musical artistry. Holt was part of a string ensemble backing schmaltzy finalists “Richard and Adam” during their cheesy rendition of “The Impossible Dream” (sorry, that’s redundant — there are only cheesy renditions of “The Impossible Dream”). The singing duo carried on as Holt, sporting a maniacal smile and laughing, got up and began throwing eggs at the head judge. Holt either got a stern talking-to from the Got Talent mafia or had a genuine change of heart; she apologized for her actions later, calling them “silly.” We’re still calling them “heroic.”

Leave Toots Alone!

Toots Hibbert and the Maytals majorly helped shape and popularize Reggae, but Toots never got the big payday received by artists influenced by him. That might change soon. Toots, now 70, is currently suing a couple of people who’ve screwed him over (allegedly). The first suit is against Toots’ former manager, who Toots claims knowingly took advantage of his lack of education and had him sign over 50 percent of his song rights. He’s seeking the return of his songs and $1.25 million in that case. In the other case, Toots is suing a “fan” who allegedly hit the singer in the head with a Grey Goose bottle while he was performing in Virginia. Billboard says Toots is seeking over $21 million in his suit against the 19-year-old bottle hurler. Now that would make the pressure drop.

Bad Rapper Gets Bad Rap

In early May, weeks after the Boston Marathon bombing, an aspiring teen rapper from Massachussetts was thrown in jail and denied bail for making “terroristic threats.” The threats came in the form of some horrible (artistically) Rap lyrics posted on his Facebook page: “Fuck a boston (bombing) wait til u see the shit I do, I’ma be famous for rapping, and beat every murder charge that comes across me” (maybe his dope flow makes it sound better?). Perhaps realizing that his greatest crime is merely against the English language (and Hip Hop, as a whole), a grand jury has declined to indict the teen.

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