The Santana Clause?
A former employee of Carlos Santana is suing the guitar legend and his wife for wrongful termination. Bruce Kuhlman was let go after fellow employee, spiritual guru "Dr. Dan," allegedly told Deborah Santana that Kuhlman's "enlightenment/consciousness level" was too low. How did he know? Why, he conducted the test known as "Dr. Dan's Neuro-Emotional Technique," of course. We say — Dr. Dan, you are the new host of The Apprentice. But you'll need a snappier catch phrase than "Your enlightenment/consciousness level is too low." Kuhlman claims his firing was illegal under California employment laws, which state that no one can be given a pink slip for reasons pertaining to the "race, religious creed, color, national origin, ancestry, physical handicap, medical condition, marital status or sex of any person." Not sure which of those Kuhlman's case falls under, but might we suggest an amendment against employment termination by anyone named "Dr. Dan." Rule of thumb: Doctors using just a first name in their title are either quacks or drug dealers. Or a TV huckster (we're looking your way, "Dr. Phil").
Eccentric cult fave Hasil Adkins was found dead April 26 at his home in West Virginia. The singer/songwriter's raw, "hunchin' " spin on Rockabilly and Roots music won him a loyal fanbase of critics and music nerds. Adkins had performed since the mid-'50s, but his underground fame grew when The Cramps covered his song "She Said" and revivalists Norton Records began releasing Adkins albums in the '80s. Cincinnati-based Shake It Records released the Adkins collection, Drinkin' My Life Away, in 1999. Adkins was 68.
DMB's Shit Storm Over
The Dave Matthews Band has settled a lawsuit against them filed by the state of Illinois after their tour bus dumped a reported 800 pounds of human waste into the Chicago River (another suit, by the owners of the tourist boat that was hit with the waste, is still pending). The band — which wasn't on the bus at the time — agreed to donate $200,000 to environmental concerns and come up with a better waste management plan for the bus. But they apparently haven't learned their lesson. On May 10, the band dumps even more crap on the public, this time in the form of their new album, Stand Up.
Polishing Diamonds and Picking Up Chicks
From the Beastie Boys, Jay-Z and Slayer to the Dixie Chicks and Neil Diamond? Beard maintenance must cost a pretty penny, because that's the career path lauded producer Rick Rubin has decided to take recently. Rubin is working with the Chicks on their first album since 2002; Diamond's Rubin-produced new disc for Columbia is due this summer.
ABC is delving into the plastic pop factory known as American Idol this Wednesday with its "news" special "Fallen Idol." The show promises to reveal behind-the-scenes antics and the truth about the popular program. Like how it's a glorified karaoke contest that is a microcosm of what is wrong with the music industry today. There, now you don't have to watch.