Minimum Gauge: R.I.P. Colonel Bruce Hampton

Col. Bruce Hampton passes away at the end of his 70th birthday party jam; Billy Ray Cyrus pulls alpha-dad move on kids with name change; Fyre Festival dupes wealthy music fans out of thousands

May 2, 2017 at 4:23 pm

click to enlarge Col. Bruce Hampton - Photo:
Col. Bruce Hampton

HOT: Jamming ’til the End

If they got to choose, would a passionate musician who’s spent their life on the road want to die onstage, doing what they love most? It’s a theory most have about Colonel Bruce Hampton, but we’ll never really know because the Jam-band-scene icon died at the end of a 70th birthday tribute concert in his honor on May 1. Hampton was onstage with members of Leftover Salmon, Blues Traveler, Widespread Panic and many others during the event’s closing jam when he collapsed. The next day, his family confirmed that he had passed away.

WARM: Father Issues

Perhaps sensing that he’s no longer able to produce more cash cows, er, children to keep his name in the limelight, Billy Ray Cyrus (aka Miley's dad) has a new sure-fire plan to sustain relevance — he’s changing his name. Or at least shortening it. According to an interview with Rolling Stone, the singer/actor will soon be just “Cyrus.” He is also celebrating the 25th anniversary of his one big single like it’s Sgt. Pepper’s, rerecording new versions of “Achy Breaky Heart,” including a Spanish rendition and, of course, the inevitable EDM version. Fingers crossed for a Trap version, too.

COLD: Fyre and Not-So-Nice

After watching Trump spend 100 days “filling the swamp” and doing things to enrich the already rich, the country got to flip the script with the debacle that was the Fyre Festival and make fun of wealthy people for a while. Originally promoted by several supermodels (on a yacht, so it had to be true!) as a chic, exclusive version of Coachella in the Bahamas, the event (to be headlined by artists like Blink-182 and Migos and costing thousands to attend) completely fell apart as attendees shared through social media photos of the piss-poor ground conditions, which even Bonnaroo gate-jumpers would have scoffed at. The event was canceled and organizers (including rapper Ja Rule) are being sued for millions, but one official has said it’ll all be made up for… with free tickets to next year’s Fyre Fest! In other words, “Sorry for hell… go back to hell?”