This New Year's Eve will have the best novelty NYE eyeglasses ever, perfectly designed for human eyeholes. So why waste your "2020" eyewear at an average Dec. 31 get-together, with champagne and some weak-ass sparklers or balloons or some shit?
This New Year's Eve, Cincinnatians will be blessed with the ultimate New Year's Eve party — intergalactic Metal monsters GWAR are bringing their “Use Your Collusion” holiday tour to Bogart's on Dec. 31. Openers Unearth and Savage Master will also be on hand to help you ring in 2020 in (gloriously campy and gory) style.
Tickets go on sale Friday (Oct. 4) at 10 a.m.
Cincinnati will be the finale of the holiday tour and we're one of only five dates on the mini-jaunt, which kicks off Dec. 27 in Washington DC.
"Merry Xmas Human Scum!," starts the press release from the alien Metal gods regarding the tour. "So you’ve finally wiped your chin clean of Santa’s jolly old 'elf gravy' and finished shoveling your faces full of baked goods. Well, your Lords and Masters GWAR are set to bring their very special brand of holiday cheer, to your shit hole town!"
Somehow oblivious to the glories of GWAR? Here's a nutshell description of their origin story that should clear everything up, as well as some video of the debauchery and mayhem in action.
The story of GWAR is carved across the history of this barren and hopeless planet, but GWAR themselves are not of this world... their story begins in the deepest reaches of outer space. Long ago, the beings who would become the rock band GWAR were part of an elite fighting force, the Scumdogs of the Universe. For eons, they served as thralls to a supreme being known only as the Master. But one by one, each future member of the band earned a glaring reputation for being an intergalactic mess-up. And so, they were banished, sent away on a fool’s errand to conquer an insignificant shitball floating in a dark corner of the universe; the planet Earth. Once here, GWAR shaped the face of the globe, destroying and rebuilding the natural world, and giving rise to all of human history. Aliens to some, gods and demons to others, our erstwhile Scumdogs apes to create the human race, and this fateful unplanned pregnancy would prove to bet ruly disastrous!
