HOT: The Art of Laundry
Rocker Noel Gallagher told Esquire UK that if Radiohead’s Thom Yorke “shit into a light bulb and started blowing it like an empty beer bottle,” it would be hailed as a masterpiece by critics. Critics might be considering something similar in February when experimental Electronic duo Matmos releases Ultimate Care II, an album created entirely using the sounds of a Whirlpool Ultimate Care II washing machine. Matmos and its guests utilized “rhythmic chugs, spin cycle drones, rinse cycle splashes, metallic clanks and electronic beeps” for the album, according to a press release. The detergent was not specified.
A sample from the forthcoming Matmos album:
WARM: Ozzy Makes Up with Texas
Ozzy Osbourne is ready to make amends for one of his legend-making misdeeds. In 1982, an intoxicated Osbourne peed on a memorial honoring those killed in the Battle of the Alamo in Texas. He was banned from the historic site (and, for a while, San Antonio), but this week he will reportedly publicly apologize for the incident. The apology is part of a History Channel program that follows Osbourne around the globe as he apologizes for everything negative he’s ever done to anyone (including that poor family of bats that lost a member due to Ozzy’s spontaneous beheading antics). Kidding — the show is a travelogue that follows the rocker and his son, Jack, as they travel the world examining some of history’s quirkier stories.
COLD: Pandering with Flava
Never-will-be-president presidential hopeful Ben Carson’s gaffes have almost been as entertaining as Donald Trump’s buffoonery. Recently, Carson’s campaign thought, “How can we attract the black vote?” In lieu of addressing issues important to the community, they decided a Rap song would be the most persuasive tactic. Radio ads were bought in eight “urban markets” featuring “conservative Christian rapper” Aspiring Mogul spitting lines like, “Vote and support Ben Carson/For our next president and be awesome.”
Which is better? This:
Or this:
