The Gathering (Shit) Storm
There are two entities Minimum Gauge will never make fun of — Scientologists (because they would sue us) and Juggalos, the followers of Rap duo Insane Clown Posse (because they would stab us in the face). “Reality” “star” and “singer” Tila Tequila might want to find a new booking agent after her appearance at the recent Gathering of the Juggalos music fest almost ended her life. ICP’s passionate followers — not fooled by her clown-whore makeup — bombarded her with bottles and rocks (and allegedly feces) when she took the stage. When showing her fake boobs didn’t have the calming effect she desired, Tequila bolted to a backstage trailer, which was surrounded by Juggalos and rocked back and forth before they gave up and went to see how their clown makeup was holding up in the heat. Apparently Juggalos don’t just assault talentless people, either. Hip Hop star Method Man was reportedly also bloodied by a projectile during his performance with Redman at the festival.
Late Lennon Letter
A letter of encouragement written to an up-and-coming Folk singer by John Lennon was recently made public for the first time. Lennon wrote to fellow Liverpool native Steve Tilston in 1971 (months after The Beatles broke up) after reading an interview in a music magazine in which Tilston wondered if he wanted to be successful, worried that having too much money might ruin or corrupt his life. But Tilston never received the letter, which was sent to the magazine. Tilston found out about Lennon’s supportive words — the legend wrote, “Being rich doesn't change your experiences … experiences - emotions - relationships - are the same as anybodies” — 34 years after it was sent, when an American collector contacted him to verify that it was real. Fortunately, Tilston (now 60) went on to have a long and fairly successful career, but could he have been the next Dylan had he received the note? Let’s hope other pieces of written wisdom from Lennon — like, “Hey Brian Jones, remember to wait 30 minutes after you eat to go swimming,” or “Dear Marc Bolan, watch out for that tree!” — didn’t also get lost in the post.
Flogging a Long Dead Horse
Although it sounds like a Malcolm McLaren from-the-great-beyond prank to us, reports that a French company is marketing a new Sex Pistols-inspired perfume appear to be true. The scent is indeed on sale now at the site of French perfume retailer Sephora, listed as “God Save the Queen Eau de Parfum” (emblazoned with the band’s logo and famous defaced-Queen image) and going for about $50 per 1.7 oz. bottle. What does a Sex Pistol smell like? These days, pure desperation. Sephora’s site says the scent has hints of leather and patchouli (coincidently, also the smell of Minimum Gauge’s high school memories). But are the Pistols getting a cut or just being swindled? Rotten has been uncharacteristically quiet about the matter.