There Ought To Be Clowns …
Jack White’s latest project isn’t another Indie supergroup, nostalgia act career revival or the introduction of a young ingénue. Part early Halloween gift, part late April Fool’s joke, White channeled his inner Dr. Demento and teamed up with the second most famous Detroit duo of this century, Insane Clown Posse, to — what else? — record a Mozart cover with raucous duo JEFF the Brotherhood. The project (for a single on Third Man Records) led White supporters through the seven stages of awkward-career-move grief — disbelief, apathy, anger, apathy, denial, apathy and … hey, Bon Iver has a new video out! The audio equivalent of a dude wearing an extra-small, thrift-store “Baby On Board” T-shirt or a brilliant update of vaudeville tradition that would make P.T. Barnum blush with envy?
Owed To Billie Joe: Apology and Bonus Skymiles
As we approach the 10-year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on America, it’s a good time to take stock in how much things have changed. Those things are most noticeable at the airport, where security guards dutifully stop people from taking shampoo onto aircrafts, check out our naughty bits on body scanners and pull out all stops to ensure we’re spared an attack by potential “saggy pants bombers.” The latest crisis averted involved Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong who was reportedly booted from a Southwest Airlines flight after questioning a flight attendant’s command to “Pull your pants up.” After realizing they were messing with a celebrity and not just some normal customer, the airline released a statement saying they’ve apologized to Armstrong and the situation has been “resolved to his satisfaction.” In their defense, Armstrong had it coming — he also wasn’t sitting up straight and refused to finish all of his green beans before eating dessert.
’Pac of Smokes?
They say the worst feeling in the world is when a parent loses a child. But a very close second would have to be when a parent has to deny press reports that their child’s friends smoked a fatty containing the child’s cremated ashes. In what sounds like a scene out of a new Friday sequel, members of Rap icon Tupac Shakur’s posse The Outlawz made celebrity gossip headlines when they bragged about sneaking out some remains during a Tupac memorial for family and close friends, rolling them up with some surely amazing weed and smoking their pal as a tribute. The smokers also said Tupac’s mother was aware of their actions, something that triggered a response from the Shakur clan flatly denying anyone in the family had knowledge of such shenanigans. Sensing an opening, MC Hammer began selling vials of his own dead skin on eBay as “organic, Rap-star-DNA-laced supplements” for potheads/cheesy Hip Hop fans. We can see the infomercial now — “Hey, Rap fans, not only can you touch this, you can smoke it, too!”