Brian Kelly Tried To Ruin My Night

I spent part of Saturday night lying in my front yard, refusing to come inside the apartment until I found a cat to chase. I was supposed to spend the evening celebrating a big important Bearcat football win, but because of ill-advised strategy and an impressive comeback by West Virginia, my celebratory evening turned into a terrified binge.—-

UC dominated the Mountaineers and deserved to win that football game and sit at the top of the Big East standings. They're now three wins away from winning the conference and the $10 million New Year's Day bowl game that comes with it. But why did Brian Kelly have to tell that young man to run out of the back of the end zone with 1:11 remaining and the 'Cats winning by 13?

We have the the best freaking punter in college football. Punt the gosh darn ball Kelly! Punt it away and make them score two touchdowns to beat you, not drive a short field, score a touchdown, complete a two-point conversion, recover an onside kick, complete a pass and make a 52-yard field goal...

OK, the scenario that unfolded was also very unlikely. Two Bearcat wide receivers had their hands on the onside kick and just kind of smacked the ball away from each other. Very lucky for WV. But still, this is the year, this is the game, this is the final one minute. Make things go smoother.

I love watching this Bearcat football team. It always seems to have a chance to win, and usually looks to be way better than the team it's playing. But I can't handle the hurt that I would have felt if UC didn't win that game in overtime. And I certainly can't afford to get evicted from my apartment because UC made me drink gin and tonic until 3 a.m.

— Image: Brian Kelly says, "When you catch the ball, run back and forth and then step out of bounds on purpose. It'll be sweet.

Scroll to read more News Feature articles
Join the CityBeat Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state.
Help us keep this coverage going with a one-time donation or an ongoing membership pledge.


Join CityBeat Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.