If you can’t find something to get fired up about in the 'Nati this weekend, it really is time for you to EAT. A. DICK. and move your whiney ass elsewhere. We are sick o’ having you in our town anywho, you bitch-but-don’t-do, non-contributing, grass is always…(GO ALREADY!), motherfuckers! —-
Tonight Wilco is at Aronoff Center with The Heartless Bastards. Cari Clara, Cash Flagg and Wake the Bear play Fountain Square’s Indie Summer beginning at 7 p.m. Caterpillar Tracks and Arms Exploding have their split 7-inch Phratry Records vinyl release goin’ down in the Southgate House parlour. How I Became The Bomb, Lucky Pineapple and The Harlequins play the SGH ballroom. Pris Gets Down at the C&D for dance shenans.
The Buffalo Killers are at Northside Tavern.
The Rivertown Breakdown takes over Southgate House with proceeds benefiting the annual clean-up of the Ohio River featuring: IsWhat?!, Comet Bluegrass All-Stars, Katie Laur Band, Jake Speed and the Freddies, The Sidecars, Magnolia Mountain, The Seedy Seeds, Straw Boss, Lagniappe, The Kentucky Struts, Cuz’n Jake, Cincinnati Dancing Pigs, Greg Schaber, The Rumpke Mountain Boys, The Queen City Zapatistas and The Tillers.
‘Tis CS13’s Grand Opening at 1219 Sycamore St. in Over-the-Rhine with Greetings from Cincinnati, their opening show featuring over 150 handmade/homemade postcards by local artists and Cincinnati natives. They will also be releasing a small run o’ their first zine that night, too. Matt Shelton, The Flux Capacitors, Order 66, Greg Hand, Moxy and Clark Wheeler are playing the new gallery and performance space beginning at 8 p.m.
Milk Money, Volume Five: The Collected Works of Alan Smithee Release Party is goin’ down at the old Feralmade location in Northside at 8 p.m. with readings from a bevy o’ authors and live music from Joey Deady and The Cult Classics, Gold Shoes and Frontier Folk Nebraska. Afterword, traverse a couple o’ doors down to the Comet for a sweet ass after soiree in the basement with DJ’s Charlie and Derek.
Bomb Prom 5 is taking over The Mockbee on Central Parkway celebrating five years of mind blowing proms, mopeds and fun with music by DJ Carl and MRDR (misterdoctor).
Glue! is at Red Polly in Northside.
Not to mention all o’ the fantabulous Cincy Gay Pride festivities going down on Saturday and Sunday in Northside’s Hoffner Park. The parade begins at 1 p.m on Sunday in Burnet Woods and makes it’s way down Ludlow and Hamilton avenues ending in the park in Northside.
There are several other shows, events and parties goin’ down as well, but I’m already deliriously dizzy with options at this juncture and calling it quits.
Or there’s always this.