CityBeat's Vice Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Because it's going to suck anyway

click to enlarge Vice presidential candidates Paul Ryan and Joe Biden circa 1965, respectively.
Vice presidential candidates Paul Ryan and Joe Biden circa 1965, respectively.

Debates are... well, debates. They can be enlightening and informative, or they can be boring. Think back to the last time you heard someone say, "boy golly, that was an exciting debate!" Yeah. We didn't think so.But don't worry, your friends at CityBeat are going to get you out of this jam. The only thing more exciting than watching two people whose Constitutional job descriptions are virtually nonexistent debate overplayed policy points is doing it while drinking.To that end, we've come up with a drinking game. You're welcome. And we're sorry. 

  • If either candidate tells an inane personal anecdote about Kentucky to make themselves more folksy and relatable because that’s where they’re holding the debate, take a smug drink since you don’t live there.
  • If the camera pans to Jill Biden, take a drink.
  • If Jill Biden looks embarrassed, take two drinks.
  • If Joe Biden says “GM is alive and Osama bin Laden is dead, pour some out to your homies and take a drink.
  • If Joe Biden screws up and says “Obama is dead” finish your drink.
  • If either candidate mentions the age gap between them take a sip.
  • If Paul Ryan talks about Dodd-Frank or Bowles-Simpson or something else nobody knows about, take a drink.
  • If Paul Ryan does math, take a drink.
  • If Joe Biden says “literally” when he actually means “figuratively” take a drink.
  • If Joe Biden says “literally” and actually means “literally” chug.
  • If Paul Ryan mentions his mother, take a drink.
  • If Paul Ryan’s mother is in attendance, chug.
  • If Joe Biden awkwardly mentions Paul Ryan’s physique or workout regimen, take a begrudging sip.
  • If either candidate mentions Ayn Rand, take an individualistic drink.
  • If the camera stops on an audience member gazing dreamily at Paul Ryan, take two drinks
  • If Joe Biden brings up Big Bird, turn off the debate because this election season is SO OVER.
  • If Paul Ryan tries to relate to young voters by bringing up the contents of his iPod, scoff and take two drinks while mentally reminding yourself to introduce him to Passion Pit if you ever see him in person.
  • If anyone mentions P90X trade in your beer for a light beer and timidly sip it while resolving to hit the gym tomorrow.
  • If Joe Biden misstates the name of the place/city/state where he is debating, chug.
  • If either candidate mentions the “47 percent” chug. If you are part of the 53 percent that actually pay income taxes and Mitt Romney cares about you, buy someone else a drink.
  • If Joe Biden mentions anything about him and Barack Obama being "friends" or "buddies," drink.
  • If Paul Ryan mentions Joe Biden saying the middle class has been "buried," chug.
  • If Joe Biden mentions taking the train to work, finish your drink.
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