Cover Story: Full Figured

(CityBeat by the numbers)

If there's one thing we've learned in this dime of time, it's how to steal ideas. Here's our version of the Harper's list, a Jeopardy-like ass-backward look at CityBeat by the numbers.

Our cumulative profile? We're caffeinated, meter-feeding, receptionist-shredding writers, editors, ad reps and artists who love free shit.

1 Edward Scissorhands CityBeat intern has been crushed by a filing cabinet (see "As the Intern Turns" for details).

There are 2 Jims and 2 Dans in the office.

3 each: number of Jasons and Mikes working at CityBeat.

There have been 132 different people on the payroll since we started in 1994; there currently are 32 full-time and 2 part-time people on payroll; there were 9 full-timers when the paper debuted.

355,100 different adults read CityBeat at least once a month, according to Media Audit; in our first readership report in 1996, 103,600 people read the paper at least once a month.

The first issue of CityBeat, Nov. 17, 1994, had 32 pages; this week's issue is 84 pages.

11: number of people whose names appeared in the very first staff box and are in this week's staff box: Thomas R. Schiff, John Fox, Dan Bockrath, Mike Breen, Rick Pender, Steve Ramos, Brian Baker, Jane Durrell, John James, Jymi Bolden and Jon Hughes.

65,738 days: total worked by current CityBeat employees.

9: what's in a "CityBeat Dozen" (i.e., when we assign 12 stories for a special themed cover story, we actually publish nine — two writers usually miss the deadline, and one says he never got the editor's e-mail).

As a staff, we've gotten 152 parking tickets and paid 138 of them.

14: number of receptionists we've wilted since we first strated having receptionists a few years into our existence.

At least 100: places that have given CityBeat the boot; also the number of red plastic CityBeat boxes on the streets of Greater Cincinnati.

8: the number of counties where you can pick up a CityBeat (Hamilton, Butler, Clermont and Warren in Ohio; Boone, Campbell and Kenton in Kentucky; and Dearborn in Indiana).

1,328,536: combined number of times we've been panhandled outside our offices (by licensed panhandlers and unlicensed co-workers).

25.5 hours: total workday hours we spend on the Internet watching porn, tracking the Amazon sales ranking of our first book, blogging, job hunting, freelancing and designing our own Web sites.

6: the number of children birthed, conceived and adopted by current staff during their time at CityBeat.

171: how many times a day we say "Hi my name is..." and "CityBeat" in the same sentence.

3,566: total comp tickets used by CityBeat staff since 1994.

We drink 213 coffee drinks per week.

53: number of movies that have received a CityBeat grade F.

144: number of movies that have received an A.

CityBeat has reviewed 13 Bruce Willis movies.

364: average number of opening capsule movie reviews per year in CityBeat.

Steve Ramos has reviewed 1,010 movies since 1994.

Ramos has attended the Sundance Film Festival all 10 years CityBeat has been in existence.

We've published 44 cover stories about local or national musicians.

Mike Breen received 200 e-mails from pissed-off parrotheads after published the 2000 story, "Ten Reasons I Hate Jimmy Buffett." He printed them all out and taped them to the wall around his desk.

43 different businesses, individuals and organizations advertised in one of CityBeat's first seven issues in 1994; 17 of those still advertise in 2004 (Back Stage Studios, Borders Books and Music, CCM, Cincinnati Chamber Orchestra, Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra, Contemporary Arts Center, Esquire Theatre, Fahrenheit Theatre Co. [now Cincinnati Shakespeare Festival], Joseph-Beth Booksellers, developer Jim Moll, Mullane's, Playhouse in the Park, Showcase Cinemas, Top Cats, WNKU-FM, WOXY-FM and Wizard Records).

CityBeat began operations with 3 salespeople; the current sales staff is 12.

0: the number of CityBeat-endorsed presidential candidates who have won (in three elections).

1: the number of a City Council members who have threatened to send firefighters to beat up a staff writer.

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