Good Afternoon, World!

Sep 6, 2011 at 2:37 pm

The Tea Party is super duper pissed after Teamsters President Jimmy Hoffa (not that Jimmy Hoffa!) called on union supporters unhappy with congressional Republicans to “take these son-of-a-bitches out.” The Tea Party Express called the comments “inexcusable,” saying the comments amounted to “a call for violence on peaceful Tea Party members.”—-

President Obama declares he’s “proud” of Hoffa for declaring “war” on these “sons-of-bitches.”

A man in France has been ordered to pay his ex-wife $14,000 for depriving her of sex over the span of their 21-year marriage.

Soulja Boy Fan Fictions is a Tumblr user created by Soulja Boy enthusiast @dreniquesodmg. You can check out all four of the pieces of literary genius here. Here is an excerpt from “Soulja Boy: Fart Wizard Frenzy.”

“Soulja Boy was living the GOOD LIFE - money, girls, lambos, kush and video games. Best of al.. ALLLLL the hot sauce he wanted! Dre loved hot sauce like money, sometimes maybe even more.”

Faulkner would be proud.

Sonya Thomas, who weighs 100 pounds, won a chicken wing-eating contest after destroying 183 wings in 12 minutes, breaking her own world record set last year.

This is Sonya Thomas. She could eat you in 12 minutes.

Green Day singer Billie Joe Armstrong was kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight last Thursday because his jeans were “sagging,” revealing his underwear.

Google loves Freddie Mercury and so do we. Today’s Google doodle features Freddie riding a tiger through space, which is exactly what he’d be doing today on what would be his 65th birthday.

This weekend you can see a movie about the bird flu or an ultimate fighter. I’ll save myself the $30 by not buying the mandatory Affliction T-shirt for entry to The Warrior and just go see Jude Law act like a little bitch because of some virus going around.

Although we’re about a month away from Feist’s newest album Metals being released, one awesome fan recorded five tracks from the new album while Feist performed live at the Townhouse in Los Angeles. She is joined on backup vocals by Vermont-based three-piece Mountain Man on “Graveyard,” “How Come You Never Go There,” “A Commotion,” “Bittersweet Melodies” and “Woe Be.”

Mashups still aren’t cool.