It's Hard to Be A Red

Jake Speed -

Mar 29, 2006 at 2:06 pm

I read an article about redheads during the week of St. Patrick?s Day (the only day us Reds are celebrated) that suggested redheads make up only 2% of the United States population ? and the numbers are falling faster than Bush?s approval rating. The sun has been screwing us over for so long, and now it seems that our very own country has forsaken us. I wrote this song of Red Pride for my wife, brother, two nieces, and nephew who are all redheads; like me, they scorn the rest of the hemisphere for 'enjoying' Spring and the rebirth of the sun's ultra-violet death rays. While the song began as an Anti-Spring anthem, it emerged as a tribute to all the great Reds who have burned before us. Notable Reds that didn't make the song: William Shakespeare, Axl Rose, and Ginger Spice.

Click Here to Hear "It's Hard to Be A Red"
It's Hard to Be A Red 3/21/06

The tulips are up, the robin's singing The sun's come back, it's finally Spring and I'm supposed to cheer or smile or dance or Something like that but Spring to me means cancer

I'm red-headed, don't you know My skin is whiter than a bucket of snow If freckles connected, I'd be all right

But I guess that's impossible, I already tried I wish it were Winter again, and it's hard to be a Red.

Spring Break time, you're all on a cruise While I'm inside with the sunburnt blues Your golden brown tan soaks sun by the ocean While I sit and soak in 80 proof sunscreen lotion

I'm red-headed don't you see I'm the one you made fun of as a kid, that's me Big Red, Carrot Top, Sunkist Melon You can take your tan skin, and go to Hell and you prolly won't burn but I will 'cause it's hard to be a Red.

Woody Allen, Danny Bodaduce Richie Cunningham and don't forget Lucy Queen Elizabeth, Bloody Mary Queen of Scots Anne Boleyn had a redhead but Henry cut it off General Custer, Napolean too Both red-headed, both got screwed Trotsky and Lenin: two Communist Reds even Gorbechev had a red thing on his head Art Garfunkel, not as talented as Simon But I like him better 'cause he's red-headed, kind of Jefferson and Grant, even Dwight Eisenhower All White House men with Red Head Power Willie Nelson and Bonnie Raitt Both love singing their songs in the shade Vincent Van Gogh may have cut off an ear But he never cut off his dark orange beard Mark Twain's a great writer, there's no mistaking But put him in the sun and he'd burn like bacon Little Orphan Annie sang a gem The Sun won't Come Out till Tomorrow, Amen!

I'm red-headed, don't you get it I'm the reason the whole country of Ireland was invented It's hard, I say, to live this way When people only celebrate you on St. Patrick's Day Yet with all these difficulties said, I'm glad to be a Red. At least I'm not bald.

Thank god I'm not a blonde. I'm glad to be a red.