Let's Just Stone Them to Death

Oct 28, 2008 at 5:22 pm

There is a story in the New Testament where Jesus stops the stoning of a woman of ill-repute by arguing that no one is without sin, except him, and so no one has the right to stone this woman for a sin. Jesus doesn't judge the woman and shows her grace and she is saved. Everyone is happy, while slightly condemned and Jesus walks away as a feminist. Lesson learned. Two thousand years later we are set to stone the opposite sex for any and all injustices heaped upon us. Sometimes in the midst of internet dating it is difficult to keep perspective. —— So many guys and girls turn out to be crazy and clingy. They're looking for a therapist, not a mate, and we become weary. After sharing my story of "Loose Bowel" walking out during our date other men have come forward to admit that they too have walked out. Every man defends his actions and even claims himself as the injured party. He argues that the woman mis-represented herself or that she smelled or that couldn't string together two words because she was dumber than a box of rocks. His departure was a form of self preservation. However, sometimes a man shares a story of such unbelievable insanity I actually do feel sorry for him.

Women are generally known as crazy. Perhaps a woman will not present the crazy factor right away, but given time all of them will show their true colors. And I usually believe that, given time, all men will lie, cheat, and leave. No one will find a mate under these conditions. As soon as we arrive at the date we are ready to pull our stones from our pocket and throw them with the pent-up frustration left from our animalistic dodge ball days of elementary school. But we need to slow down for just a moment. No one can claim that he or she is always a perfect date, unless he or she has never been on a date before and that dives into a whole new set of issues that we don't have time for today. We have no right to judge so quickly. You've lied, forgotten to return phone calls or played the unstable date once or twice. There was that one night that you had a little too much to drink and crossed your signals and wound up attacking some guy in the back of the bar with your hot, inebriated body (or simply place your own embarrassing moment here because you have one). So, from this day forward as you embark on the internet dating scene, the refuge of the socially awkward, mentally unstable and promiscuous, leave your preconceived notions at the door. Perhaps you have found one that is worth saving or perhaps you found the guy that pooped his pants and disappeared, but you never know until you give it a chance. Leave the stoning to the Romans. You deserve some quality.