Letter Rip

To the Editor,

I've subscribed to The Bob Woodiwiss Times for nearly two decades. In that time, your newspaper has proven to be an indispensable source of news, information and insight about the world and its relation to Bob Woodiwiss. I was, therefore, greatly dismayed by your facile, inflammatory Op-Ed piece, "Tequila: Big Mistake" (Feb. 25, 2007).

During President Ronald Reagan's second term, I had the privilege to serve as Undersecretary of Central American Affairs in the U.S. State Department. In this capacity, I attended countless formal and ceremonial functions hosted by high-ranking members of the Mexican government at which tequila was invariably served. It was my experience that this distinctive, robust distillation of the blue agave plant was a delight to the palate and, consumed in moderation, a social lubricant nonpareil.

To dismiss it, as Mr. Woodiwiss does in his piece, merely as "a capitulation to our worst instincts, an incitement to bad behavior, a liver-pickling mind-fuck that never fails, before the night is through, to set us a-howling at the moon and a-puking from the very tips of our toes" is to oversimplify a complex and storied libation. I expect much more from The BWT.

— Simon Simmons Washington, D.C.

(The writer also served as U.S. Ambassador to Greece under President George H.W. Bush.)

To the Editor,

Reporter Bob Woodiwiss' Feb. 26 front-page news story "Moron from Indiana Changes Lanes Without Signaling, Could've Killed Me" contained a number of factual errors. First, Indianans driving in states other than their own are not considered "illegal aliens" and, therefore, cannot be detained, jailed or deported by the Immigration and Naturalization Service.

Second, the educational statistics cited in the article are inaccurate: Not only do a majority of Indiana residents attend elementary school but, according to the annual census conducted every 10 years, a significant number actually complete it. Third, Indiana is nicknamed "The Hoosier State," not "The Who's Yer Daddy? State."

Finally, and most importantly, the story's characterization of all Indianans as "farm boys, yokels and hayseeds" perpetuates a stereotype that is not only outdated but highly insulting.

— Earl Sproo

Terre Haute, Ind.

(The writer is Grand Dragon of the Indiana KKK as well as the Director of Intimidation for Indiana's Right to Life chapter.)

To the Editor,

I must say I found myself nodding in whole-hearted agreement with your editorial "Hey, Dubya, Suck My Cock" (Feb. 25). Not only does it forcefully, point by point, make a case for Mr. Bush to literally perform such an act, but one wonders why no one has previously publicly demanded he do so.

To those who disagree, I would suggest that if this is indeed a country where anyone can grow up to be president, it must also be a country where an aggrieved citizen might fully expect to have his penis fellated by said presidential anyone. Thank you, Bob Woodiwiss Times, for putting into powerful words what so many Americans are thinking.

— Randall Mishkin

Professor & Chair, Comparative Politics

Princeton University

Princeton, N.J.

To the Editor,

Reading The BWT review of the impromptu concert by the dinner host who, après dessert, got out his guitar and strummed and picked for an hour ("Guitar Playing Friend, Desperate for Attention, Fails to Wow," Feb. 25), I was reminded of a similar experience I had in the late 1960s.

While in London on business, a colleague invited me to his flat for cocktails one evening. After an hour or so, one of the guests sat down at the piano in the living room and began to play. He was passably talented but, as your music critic so succinctly put it, "Hey, rent a hall." Anyway, he played and sang at least a dozen songs, all, I assumed, his own compositions, since I'd never heard any of them before. "Who is that?" I asked my host. "Elton John," he replied. At the time, I'd never heard of him. Now, as you know, we all wish we never had.

— Tate Pickler, Boston, Mass.

To the Editor:

We were gratified to see several items from the latest Armani Collezioni included in your "Bob's Spring Fashion Preview" photo feature (Feb. 26). Allow us to point out, however, that we have videotape of Mr. Woodiwiss stealing those items from our Manhattan showroom and are prepared to prosecute to the fullest extent of the law unless they are returned immediately.

— Dylan Cummings, New York City

(The writer is the Vice President/Security Director for the Giorgio Armani retail chain.)

To the Editor,

On a recent visit to Atlanta, I had the opportunity to pick up a copy of your sister publication, The Jody Woodiwiss Courier-Journal. I must say I was impressed. With the newspaper and your Atlanta-based sister.

Not only is the writing lucid and informative, its focus on a world of optimism and accomplishment stands in stark contrast to your own paper's bleak worldview and ceaseless chronicle of life's obstacles, disasters and defeats. As a senior citizen living on a fixed income with limited funds for extras like newspapers and magazines, I regret to inform you I will be switching my subscription from The Times to The Courier-Journal, effective immediately.

— Mom

That Terrible Home You Put Me In