Morning News and Stuff

May 24, 2011 at 5:00 pm

The Supreme Court yesterday ruled that prison overcrowding in California is unconstitutional. The state will now be forced to release 30,000 inmates during the next three years. There are about 146,000 inmates incarcerated in California prisons that were meant to house just 80,000.—-

Justice Anthony Kennedy cited examples of indecency such as 200 inmates being housed in the prison gym and more than 40 inmates having to share one toilet. “For years the medical and mental health care provided by California’s prisons has fallen short of minimum constitutional requirements and has failed to meet prisoners’ basic health needs,” Kennedy wrote. “Over the whole course of years during which this litigation has been pending, no other remedies have been found to be sufficient. Efforts to remedy the violation have been frustrated by severe overcrowding in California’s prison system. Short term gains in the provision of care have been eroded by the long-term effects of severe and pervasive overcrowding.”

If you have ideas on how to put Cincinnati on the map, now is you’re chance to contribute. Today City Council’s Quality of Life Committee will begin taking suggestions for new ways to market Cincinnati and the Tri-state to the rest of the world. The committee will first hear from representatives of Duke Energy and Procter and Gamble on a new plan they are calling “The Story Project,” which aims to find out more about the hidden history and strengths of the Tri-state. Promoting goetta is would be a good start.

President Obama’s Euro trip is going well despite hitting a speed bump or two along the way. Obama’s mission, according to Bryan Fischer of the conservative Christian group the American Family Association, says the purpose of the voyage is for the president to assert his whiteness. Fischer says Obama’s sudden interest in his Irish heritage is just a way to hype up his white heritage. But Herman Cain, who according to Fischer is “authentically black,” is the real black man in the presidential race for 2012. Obama “can't talk enough about how white he is and how white his heritage is … President Obama is half-white, and half-black; Herman Cain is all black; he's authentically black; he is the real black man in the race. So we'll see how all of that plays out. I mean, President Obama celebrating his Irish heritage, I mean there is just something about that I just find, I just find that comical, frankly.”

North Carolina diner owner Greg Simons has seen his business triple since last March, and it wasn’t the pulled pork. It was a sign on the door of his diner that reads, “No English, No Service.” Fox News’ Martha MacCallum was impressed with this innovative young racist’s entrepreneur’s use of the right to refuse. “It’s a very interesting story and interesting that your business has taken off since it happened,” an enthused MacCallum recently said. Simons insists that the sign has nothing to do with racism and all to do with communication. Fooled me.

Simons was thrilled to be able to speak with MacCallum about his booming business and the scores of people asking for copies of his sign. “I’ve spoken to a lot of people I would never think to be speaking with such as yourself, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck. And I’ve gotten a lot of letters of support. I was contacted by an organization known as Pro English. Basically, if I had any civil or criminal charges brought against me, they would represent me pro bono,” said Simons.

Sarah Palin told Fox News’ Judge Jeanine Pirro Saturday that we shouldn’t get used to Barack Obama being the president. “We the people need to rise up say we'll take a stand for Israel. We'll be on their side, even if our, I'm going to call him our temporary leader, because my goal is to make sure that President Obama isn't reelected in 2012,” Palin said. (I believe somewhere in the America rulebook it says that all of our presidents are temporary leaders, but whatever.) Palin, in an effort to make sure that she’s also not elected in 2012 said, “I think the mood that I am in today and the venue that I am in, I'd pick Gretchen Wilson's 'Redneck Woman' and I'd be proud to have that as my ringtone."

Bath Salts sold under various names such as Ivory Wave, Vanilla Sky, White Lightning and Snow Leopard are facing a nationwide ban after reports of them causing the same side effects as cocaine. Ivory Wave? What did you think you were buying? The official ban was handed down in New York thanks to the state’s Health Commissioner Nirav Sha, who said, “These chemicals marketed as bath salts are a growing and dangerous threat to the public health, and this action to end the sale and distribution of these harmful substances is a critical step needed to stop the proliferation of these drugs here in New York State.”

President Palin: