Morning News and Stuff

President Obama came to town yesterday, rolled up his sleeves and told a group of 1,500 supporters to tell Congress to get to work on passing his jobs bill. John Boehner and Mitch McConnell reportedly stayed in Washington, called the speech “political theater” and then ate some steaks. These mopes fact-checked the speech, finding that the major points were accurate, including the fact that all McConnell and Boehner really want to do is defeat Obama and eat steaks.—-

In the meantime, on Capitol Hill it's time for another round of everybody's favorite horseshit game: Shutdown or Compromise!

Cincinnati State teachers went on strike today, walking out this morning even though the school was scheduled to formally inaugurate Dr O'dell Owens as its new president. Today was supposed to be Dr. Owens' day!

Here's a collection of reactions to the repeal of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell,” most of which are in support of the repeal. Rick Santorum says allowing gay soldiers to be open about their sexuality is foolish and a distraction to their role of defending the country. In his defense, it would probably have been difficult to offer understanding to someone putting his gay life on the line for America while a bunch of Republicans are booing his video stream from Iraq:

Anyway, if you want to read more about the stupid Republican debate, here's an article about it titled, “Rick Perry's Word Jumble and Mitt Romney's Quiet Attack Strategy.”

Either way, the Obama administration isn't coming off the other half of severance pay that previously discharged gay soldiers aren't receiving.

Some crazy subatomic particle has apparently been measured traveling faster than the speed of light, which has scared the bejeezus out of scientists because it goes against Einstein's E (equals) mc2 equation.

Scientists agree if the results are confirmed, that it would force a fundamental rethink of the laws of nature.

Einstein's special relativity theory that says energy equals mass times the speed of light squared underlies "pretty much everything in modern physics," said John Ellis, a theoretical physicist at CERN who was not involved in the experiment. "It has worked perfectly up until now."

He cautioned that the neutrino researchers would have to explain why similar results weren't detected before.

"This would be such a sensational discovery if it were true that one has to treat it extremely carefully," said Ellis.

If you're a Facebook user then you know how annoyed everyone is about the recent changes to the site. This British guy explains how much more changes are in store, describing the new Facebook timeline as “creepy but cool.” No thank you.

Apple reportedly holds an 89 percent retention rate with iPhone buyers. Some people are so satisfied with the product they're willing to purchase the new model for five times the retail price with no details about what it's like or when it will actually be out. Maybe not.

Brad Pitt's new movie Moneyball opens today. Here's what the pretentious critics are saying about it.

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