Morning News and Stuff

Conservative commentator Bryan Fischer recently posted a blog about “whether it’s a good idea for women to get involved in the rough and tumble of politics.” While Fischer didn’t come out and say anything blatantly misogynistic, he expressed that he didn’t feel a woman would be up to snuff as president.

But on his radio show this weekend he took calls from listeners who mostly felt that it is inappropriate and unbiblical for a woman to be president. This prompted Fischer to really tell us all how he felt. “If you look at the Scriptures, I believe it's clear that God has designed men to exercise authority in the home, in the church, in society, and in government. So let me repeat that — that is my personal take on what the Scriptures indicate about the way God has designed man and woman to work: God has designed men to exercise leadership and authority and headship in the home, in the church, in society, and in government.”

It gets better.

“Now then the question becomes what if God can't find any men with the spine and with the testicular fortitude to provide the kind of leadership? Well, what he'll do is He'll send a woman to do a man's job.”

A parolee by the name of Marvin Lane Ussery, 48, was caught trying to break back into New Folsom for unknown reasons. Officials are investigating whether Ussery was attempting to smuggle contraband, although nothing was found on him. The possibility that Ussery was trying to take advantage of the free health and dental has not yet been ruled out.

Undercover police in Rome have successfully infiltrated an elite league of warriors, albeit outdated. In an effort to crack down on turf battle among impersonators, the police have begun sporting togas, capes and sandals to gain access to a group of gladiators who on Wednesday attacked another group of impersonators. The group has been charging camera-toting tourists for pictures for 20 years, but the police have called a halt to the action since the assaulting began.

That’ll be 15 Euros.”

State Rep. Philip Hinkle (R-Ind.) reportedly offered $80 to an 18-year-old man he met on Craigslist “for a couple of hours of your time,” pus a tip “for a really good time.” Hinkle, who recently voted for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, reportedly grabbed the man’s bum and exposed himself. He then gave the man an iPad, BlackBerry cellphone and $100 cash to keep quiet. That was reportedly unsuccessful.

Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) was asked off-camera at a press conference a question pertaining to DNC Chairperson Debbie Wasserman-Shultz to which West replied, “Debbie is not smart.”

We think they were talking about her having Carson Palmer starting on her fantasy team.

This is Shaq and his new girlfriend, Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander.

After announcing his intent to enter the presidential fray this weekend, Gov. Rick Perry (R-Texas) told the AP that both his economic record and his experience in leading a large and growing state would set him apart from his Republican presidential rivals. Then the AP said, “Yeah, and the Bengals are gonna win the Super Bowl.”

As Rick Perry enters the presidential race, a new expose has been revealed, linking him to radical evangelicals. Sounds harmless enough, right?

Scroll to read more News Feature articles
Join the CityBeat Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state.
Help us keep this coverage going with a one-time donation or an ongoing membership pledge.


Join CityBeat Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.