Music, Makin' Babies & Jizz Moppers

Tonight is the Koala Fires' one year anniversary show at the Northside Tavern with Dan Mecher (Turnbull ACs) and Adam Arcuragi (Philadelphia). The Cincy Scene Rock Fest is goin’ down at Madison Theatre featuring The Sundresses, The Host, Slow Claw, The Guitars, Lemon G, Wake the Bear and Wonky Tonk. State Song is playing Molly Malone’s in Covington. Circuit Des Yeux, Yuppies, Tiny Fights and Tenthaus rock the Art Damage Lodge. The Hiders, Lovely Crash and The Emeralds play Fountain Square for Indie Summer.

Mansions & Bitches is hosting its Prep School Shakedown at C&D tonight if dancing be your shiz.—-

The Afghan Whigs Tribute/Benefit for Cystic Fibrosis is taking over the Southgate House Saturday night with performances from 19 original Cincy bands including: Billy Catfish, Jason Snell of The Chocolate Horse, Caterpillar Tracks, Fairmount Girls, Lovely Crash, Abiyah, The Pressure Drops, The Koala Fires, The Mighty, The Polly Esthers, Moon and the Stars, The Beau Alqiozola Band, Whitney Barricklow, The Green Room, Goose, Mike Fair and the Adventure Seekers, 20th Century Tokyo Princess and Deliver Us. It will be accompanied by visual production from CEA award winning Big Bang Productions and music DJ’d between performances featuring Afghan Whigs Satellite bands (Gutter Twins, Moon Man, Twilight Singers, Staggering Statistics), as well as covers by the Whigs themselves and raffle opportunities.

Also on Saturday night: Everything, Now!, The Delicious, Sonic Farnicle and The Harlequins perform at Bunk. Shawn Abnoxious and The Mysts of Time are at Junker’s Tavern.

On Sunday night drummer and The Guitars play Northside Tavern.

That’s all ize gotz, folks! Gotta get my ass in gear for The 48 Hour Film Project that kicks off tonight in Cincy. I’m prolly gonna suffer a heart attack from the copious amounts o’ Red Bull I’m going to need to consume to stay awake all weekend to get this movie made, but I’m FIRED UP nonetheless!

Go see some shows for me and report back on what I missed!

Oh, and if anyone runs into that couple who was full-on procreating on the floor o’ the Northside Tavern whilst the Detroit Cobras were playing this past Monday night, congratulate that girl! There is no way in hell she’s not preggors after what we all had to witness! I had to take a shower when I got home to wash off all o’ the residual saliva and jizz getting sprayed all over the crowd.

Seriously, guys! Gross x 12!

I’m not one o’ those types who has an aversion to a little PDA whilst out on the town, but your girlfriend bending over the stage, hiking up her dress and getting banged from behind all night, was a tad much. Her dropping down to fellate you whilst clothed, several times, was uber DEE-scust as well. Mondo kudos on repulsing a lot o’ fans and the band the entire night! And get that baby checked out too, I predict Fetal Alcohol Syndrome could be in the cards.

Hey, guys: Could you also go ahead and friend me on Facebook? That would be swell I’d like to get updates on what future shows you’re attending. That way, I can make sure to don rain gear beforehand and have time to track down a newfangled form o’ Dramamine: the kind tailored to ward off the ungovernable, spasmodic retching mechanism triggered by witnessing the bizarre mating rituals of drunken morons.

The flashbacks are killing me. Ugh.

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