Music, Movies and the Not So Mundane

Sep 22, 2011 at 2:00 pm

The creator of The Drew Carey Show, Bruce Helford, has signed on to write and run Charlie Sheen's new television show, Anger Management. The show will be based on the 2003 movie of the same name about an average Joe forced to attend group anger-management sessions led by a crazy therapist. Sheen will probably play the therapist.—-

The people at People think that Scarlett Johansson is dating Kieran Culkin. Anything is possible!

R.E.M. broke up and the band members issued statements on the band's official website.

MIKE MILLS: "During our last tour, and while making Collapse Into Now and putting together this greatest hits retrospective, we started asking ourselves, 'what next'? Working through our music and memories from over three decades was a hell of a journey. We realized that these songs seemed to draw a natural line under the last 31 years of our working together.

"We have always been a band in the truest sense of the word. Brothers who truly love, and respect, each other. We feel kind of like pioneers in this—there's no disharmony here, no falling-outs, no lawyers squaring-off. We've made this decision together, amicably and with each other's best interests at heart. The time just feels right."

MICHAEL STIPE: "A wise man once said — 'the skill in attending a party is knowing when it's time to leave.' We built something extraordinary together. We did this thing. And now we're going to walk away from it.

"I hope our fans realize this wasn't an easy decision; but all things must end, and we wanted to do it right, to do it our way.

"We have to thank all the people who helped us be R.E.M. for these 31 years; our deepest gratitude to those who allowed us to do this. It's been amazing."

PETER BUCK: "One of the things that was always so great about being in R.E.M. was the fact that the records and the songs we wrote meant as much to our fans as they did to us. It was, and still is, important to us to do right by you. Being a part of your lives has been an unbelievable gift. Thank you.

"Mike, Michael, Bill, Bertis, and I walk away as great friends. I know I will be seeing them in the future, just as I know I will be seeing everyone who has followed us and supported us through the years. Even if it's only in the vinyl aisle of your local record store, or standing at the back of the club, watching a group of 19 year olds trying to change the world."

BILL BERRY: " :'( "

If you think this movie looks good, you clearly watched the trailer.

An 80-year-old man is in the hospital after a kangaroo beat the poop out of him for 15 minutes at an exotic-animal farm in central Ohio. The farm owner's son told reporters that the man was attacked by a 6-foot-tall, 200-pound male kangaroo, which will be euthanized. Apparently Ohio has really lax pet laws because last year a pet bear mauled its owner. But I mean srsly, pet bear?