As CityBeat’s Assistant Music Editor for the past three months, I’m the person behind most of the music listings—those microscopic items printed in the middle of the newspaper every week. With the assistance of Real Actual Music Editor Mike Breen and a crazy little interface called Zipscene, I make them appear there and on the Web site. —-
In any case, this task consists of combing through countless, often incoherent and forehead-slap-inducing music calendars gleaned from the Web sites, faxes and emails of local venues. Then, I trash-compact that information into our database so that you dear readers can view and digest the concise, easy-to-synthesize Music Listing As We Know It. It’s not rocket science or anything. But it can be a little mind-numbing at times.
Thankfully, there is no lack of local bands with hilariously ridiculous names to keep me entertained. Some (okay, many) are perverse, some are cheesy, and some are just plain confounding. Some sound like pantyhose brands.
Anyway, I’ve been keeping a running list since May, and I’d like to commemorate the most ridiculous band names I’ve come across doing this job right here in this blog. I’d also like to thank all below for bringing a smile to my face on many an otherwise boring day spent staring at a computer screen.
The Historical-Dramatic and the Mary-Abusive:
Closure in Moscow
I Call Treason
Stoning Mary
Mary Cries Red
The Suggestive:
Johnny Fink and The Intrusions
Slight Touch
Blow-Up Dollz
Plastik Master
Sheer Fantasy
II Juicy
Sweater Puppies
Dallas Moore and The Snatch Wranglers (more blatant than suggestive)
Root Hog
Liqour Box (whose tagline is the following: “You’ll Like Us. She’ll Love Us.”)
The Head-Scratchers:
Piper Down
Fibbion Handful
Duppy a’Jamba
The Creepy:
Girls Smell Nice
Sack and Bag: The Burlap Brothers
Sexual Disaster
The Kindergartenesque:
The Chocolate Horse
You, You’re Awesome
Zebras in Public
Saving Stimpy
... And The Just Plain Ridiculous, Grammatically or Otherwise:
Motion Sick Love Slaves
Ten Foot Big
Big Head Lincoln
The Soul Pocket Band
Frontier Folk Nebraska
The Luxury Pushers
Did You Mean Australia?
Luna Pollo (“Moon Chicken” in Spanish)
