Tecmo Super Bowl — the Ultimate Season

The greatest idea of my awesome life was to find a friend who lives less than a quarter-mile from my place who has Tecmo Super Bowl and likes to play it. We recently began a new experiment — starting a season and putting every single team on “MAN” control.—-

Each person picks one team they will use for the entire season, and we will play out the rest of the schedule with me being first player during Week 1 and player two during Week 2. This ensures that amongst the remaining teams, we each get to use them at least around half the time.

I'm a man of great confidence in my Vinny Testaverde and his Tampa Bay Buccaneers. My friend knows he's borderline shitty and can't pass, so for the season he took the two-headed monster backfield of Barry Word and Christian Okoye and the rest of the Chiefs that come with it.

Last night we finished the final game of Week 2. It's pretty great to throw passes to Rick Fenney and Pat Beach. Reminds me of the carefree days when the pressures of life and being pushed to its margins weren't comprehended, let alone fretted over.

The Bucs are 1-1. His Chiefs are 2-0. I also know as soon as I get around to putting one of his RBs into the hospital with an injury of some sort, his tailspin will begin.

We split Week 1, and no one won more than 2 games in a row. However, Week 2 ended up with me playing the role of Jonas Salk and my friend playing that of Polio. I don't think he won more than three games. I beat him with terrible teams, hit a field goal from my own 40 and no time left to squeeze by him with Ken O'Brien and the Jets … and did all sorts of terrible things to him. I fear that he will either repay the favor in Week 3 or cease wanting to continue our Tecmo season experiment.

Tecmo games take like 15 to 20 minutes, tops. Madden takes more than an hour sometimes and the only reason one idiot wins or loses is because of his or her superior understanding and knowledge of audibles and other geeky button memorization. Tecmo gives you four running plays and four passes. Tecmo is football at its best. I prefer to bypass John Madden wondering aloud, "I wonder how many hamburgers and hot dogs this place is going to sell at half time."

During a Chargers vs. 49ers game last night, the god damn thing reset, and the Power button's red light began flashing.

No bueno.

I swear to Christ that if this season (and I don't care how it happens) somehow gets erased and reset, my creeping suspicion that there is nothing good in this world will cement itself into my thought process and define me.

I want to see the stats at the end of the year. I want to continue benching Troy Aikman in favor of Babe Laufenberg because I don't like Troy and think he is an idiot who hates on the New York Football Giants too much when on FOX.

I just hope that our Nintendo keeps chugging along and that its decades-old circuitry and wiring holds up, allowing us the opportunity to play hundreds more games and get to the playoffs where the music gets all serious.

Bless this day, the Lord has made.

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