The Real History of #yeswecanseco

Jose Canseco owes my friend Jarrett an apology and an audiobook. The former Major League Baseball player/steroid user/reality TV weirdo last March posted a series of tweets aimed at schooli

Jan 16, 2013 at 9:32 am

Jose Canseco owes my friend Jarrett an apology and an audiobook. 

The former Major League Baseball player/steroid user/reality TV weirdo last March posted a series of tweets aimed at schooling all the “morons” who don’t believe in global warming. It was the beginning of a new era of attention for the former player best known for writing a tell-all book about baseball’s steroid era called Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big.

Canseco wrote things on Twitter like, “clowns if you dont (sic) stop your mass consumption we will have no more polar bears soon need to recycle or else no more bears,” and, “hole (sic) families used to sleep in one big bed and produce no waste how did we go from their (sic) to killing polar bears in 100 years.” 

He made some good points — global warming is a very real problem that a bunch of morons have caused/denied for years. Canseco was an unlikely champion of the movement, though evidently new to the realities facing humanity if global warming isn’t addressed. Even though he stayed pretty true to what an environmentalist might advise — using less energy, recycling, etc. — he also demonstrated the lack of familiarity with current events that only comes from doing weird drugs, being a jock and playing around on Twitter all day. He ended his global warming rant by figuratively tipping a 40 oz. for Al Gore: “al gore was a head of his time. i miss him rest in peace buddy hug for u.”

He later apologized for thinking Gore was dead and advised the former vice president to “make more noise.” 

Canseco said class was in session for all the morons and clowns causing global warming and the death of thousands of polar bears. And even if he can’t spell and several of his claims severely lack logic, he’s kind of right. 

This is why my friends spent weeks tweeting at him about these issues — we care about them too. On March 29, my friend Jarrett tweeted: “Steroids raise your body temperature and contribute to global warming. #yeswecanseco.”

It didn’t take long for other friends to encourage the 48-year-old to keep up the fight. Our friend Jason on March 30 tweeted: “Woke up cold bc @JoseCanseco told me to turn off my heat. Polar bears want to be cold but global warming is preventing this. #yeswecanseco.”

Jarrett followed up that same day with: “If
@JoseCanseco got another shot with the A’s he could bash home runs and make these morons save the planet. #yeswecanseco #gogreen.”

Because the exercise was so funny and the cause so important, Jarrett offered Canseco some advice for capitalizing on the brand equity he was creating by caring so much about the world and being so open about his inability to spell or construct complete sentences. Jarrett tweeted: “@JoseCanseco Have you considered making an audio tape of Juiced? Needs to be done. #yeswecanseco.”

Our friend Andy shot a tweet to Enquirer Reds beat reporter John Fay: “@johnfayman Do you follow @JoseCanseco? #yeswecanseco #josecanyousee #josebeforebros.”

Luke tried to get syndicated radio host Jim Rome to encourage Canseco to record the Juiced audiobook: “@jimrome You need to get hip to my life’s work: getting @JoseCanseco to release an audio book version of juiced #josebeforebros #yeswecanseco.”

Nothing worked, though. Canseco never addressed our dozens of requests for the audiobook, even though he had enough time to talk about golf, the lottery and offer hugs to a growing number of “haters.” Things died down for a few months while Canseco played semi-pro baseball and tried to start an energy drink company. 

Then on Jan. 4, Canseco showed the world that he had heard our calls when he used the #yeswecanseco hash tag in a tweet about running for mayor of Toronto: “Need exact guidelines of what I need to run for Toronto mayor and how long it takes to claim residency. #yeswecanseco.”

Jarrett was pissed — dozens of tweets from fans of Canseco’s activism and steroid book and no response. How could he so blatantly appropriate this hash tag?

The same day Canseco used it, Jarrett responded: “@JoseCanseco if you’re going to take our hash tag you have to record the book. #yeswecanseco.” Jarrett lamented the fact that other people started using the hash tag even though Canseco was ignoring its original intent: “People love #yeswecanseco. He’ll get the credit and we’re not going to get our audiobook.”

Some guy named @tyler_harper tweeted: “If nothing else, #yeswecanseco has reaffirmed my belief in hash tags.” A woman named Heather on Jan. 4 wrote: “Leave it to @jessehawken to coin the definitive Canseco for Mayor hashtag: #YesWeCanseco.”

Jarrett had to set these people straight, tweeting: “I coined #yeswecanseco last March. Was a campaign for an audio book of “Juiced” got to claim it.”

Canseco has used the hash tag 14 times since then, mostly in tweets asking people how he can become a Canadian citizen and offering his ideas for Toronto if he were to become mayor. 

Not once has he addressed our desire for his audiobook, and that’s not cool.

CONTACT DANNY CROSS : [email protected]