This Week in Questionable Decisions…
1. A flight from Dubai to Amsterdam had to make an emergency landing in Vienna thanks to a gassy passenger who reportedly refused to stop farting. Always think twice about stopping at Taco Bell on your way to the airport.
2. Jay-Z spent more than $90K at a Manhattan lounge this week, all on his own uber-pricey Ace of Spades champagne. But he also dropped a hefty tip: $11,100.
3. Florida lawmakers refused to consider a ban on assault weapons this week but did discuss a bill that declares porn a public health risk. Oh, and they voted to put “In god we trust” signs in schools.
4. Young Thug would like to be called all-caps SEX now, thankyouverymuch.
5. Apparently everyone in the terrible-looking movie I Feel Pretty is getting surprise-married to randos. Days after Amy Schumer got hitched to her boyfriend of three months, Emily Ratajkowski made things official with her man of a few weeks. But the most questionable decision was the orange Carmen Sandiego number she selected in lieu of a wedding dress.
6. Dolce & Gabbana sent drones down the runway instead of models for a handbag show during Milan Fashion Week. The future is now!
7. Speaking of FASHUN, Justin Bieber appears to be filing documents to start a clothing line.
8. A Texas woman purposefully pooped her pants in a cop car in an attempt to hide drug evidence during her arrest. It did not work.
9. The NRA used a Parks and Recreation Leslie Knope gif on Twitter, which is dumb considering the fictional character definitely would not support the organization — and it turns out the actress that portrayed her doesn’t either. Cast and crew from the show clapped back, with one writer relaying, “Amy isn’t on twitter, but she texted me a message: ‘Can you tweet the NRA for me and tell them I said fuck off?’ ”