What a Week! Oct. 5-11

Corryville's 86 Coffee Bar transformed into Luke's Diner from 'Gilmore Girls'; Ryan Lochte tried to ease back into America's good graces; the word 'pussy' was repeated on news television more than ever before.

What a Week! Oct. 5-11
Photo: Nick Swartsello

Luke’s Diner pop-ups appeared in more than 200 locations across the country Wednesday in promotion of the Gilmore Girls rebooted Netflix miniseries Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life and in celebration of the show’s 16th anniversary. Locally, The 86 Coffee Bar in Corryville hosted a pop-up, offering free coffee to guests. Basic betches from across the Tristate lined up along Short Vine, wrapping around the block down University Avenue. You could say they were “out on the road, feeling lonely and so cold” (JK, it was like 80 degrees, even though it’s fucking October). Flannel-sporting staffers served up free coffees in specially branded cups in the former Top Cat’s space (sidebar: Who remembers Top Cats? Memory, all alone in the moonlight!). Much like the fictional Stars Hollow coffee shop, a strict no cellphones rule was in place, preventing photos of the interior from spreading online to those who couldn’t wait hours in line for a paper cup with a GG quote printed on it and a Luke’s sleeve (which, by the way, are currently on eBay for as much as $99). The reboot special premieres on Netflix next month, the day after Thanksgiving, so if you thought you might be getting some Black Friday shopping done, you’re obviously mistaken.


As Hurricane Matthew wreaked havoc on the Caribbean, making its way toward the southeastern U.S., FEMA turned to Waffle House. Seriously. The Federal Emergency Management Agency uses what’s called the Waffle House Index to assess damage following natural disasters. The 24-hour breakfast joint is known for staying open amid some of the worst weather conditions. Waffle House pulling back on hours, serving a limited menu or closing altogether can directly relate to the severity of a storm. Thankfully for waffle lovers in badly flooded areas post-Matthew, many Houses across the region were reopened shortly after the storm passed over the weekend. So remember: If you’re ever unable to get your go-to Scattered-Smothered-Covered, you know that shit was bad.


The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded on Friday to Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos due to his efforts to end the country’s 50-plus-year civil war. The award comes just days after citizens voted against his peace deal with rebels. The Nobel is the latest gem in his crown of achievements: He’s also won a Pulitzer Prize, a MacArthur “Genius” Award, an Emmy, two Grammys and three Tony awards. The man created Hamilton, the most popular Broadway show in ages! And to think on top of this he managed to host Saturday Night Live during this jam-packed week. Or was that Lin-Manuel Miranda?


The fall season brings with it plenty of regional traditions. Locally, we have Oktoberfest, the West Side’s Harvest Home parade and fair, the renaissance festival, pumpkin patches, corn mazes and apple-picking. In Yellville, Ark., they throw live turkeys out of airplanes. The 50-year custom is part of the city’s annual Turkey Trot Festival. When weather permits, the highlight of the festival surrounds a low-flying plane that drops the birds, who will ideally glide to the ground, where the real fun begins for spectators who then chase down the turkeys to catch and cook. Outside of Arkansas, it’s pretty well known that turkeys cannot fly, a fact proven when one of six turkeys failed to survive the drop Friday and one of four died on impact Saturday. Clearly someone missed the iconic episode of WKRP in Cincinnati.


Earlier this week, Americans were treated to a surprisingly entertaining vice presidential debate. Who knew the vanilla guys behind two controversial candidates would be so fired up? It was comforting to see that no matter what side of the aisle they’re on, they’re both well versed in ignoring questions and talking over the woman in charge. At this point it was clear we should all just have popcorn ready at any given time, because the political shitshow that is this campaign season is only going to become more of a trainwreck in each passing day. But nothing could prepare us for this weekend, when the word “pussy” was repeated on news television more than ever before. Debate notes: Donald Trump’s comments about being able to sexually assault women because of his celebrity status opened Sunday night’s debate. Trump defended the remarks as “locker room talk.” Hillary Clinton spent the evening trying not to shimmy out of her seat. Trump’s description of Hillary’s deleting of emails was straight out of Hackers. Folks are speculating the meaning behind Melania wearing a pussy bow Sunday — seriously, that’s what the style of blouse is called. The true winner of the debate? Undecided voter Ken Bone, who asked the candidates a question about energy only to be overshadowed by his affable charm, sexy red sweater and amazing use of a disposable camera. Also: Did anyone else see the dancing cow in the background of pre-debate coverage? The Commission on Presidential Debates should just get Bravo’s Andy Cohen to host the third and final debate, because these sideshows more resemble a Real Housewives reunion than any attempt at presidential dialogue.


Now that The Donald’s pussy-grabbing ways have trumped the gold medalist swimmer’s rumble in Rio, Ryan Lochte can now ease back into America’s good graces. He began by participating in Dancing with the Stars, and now he’s getting married! Lochte asked his Playboy model girlfriend of five minutes to marry him this week and she said jeah. He really lochted it down! (Editor’s Note: No more Ryan Lochte puns until at least 2017.)


A Tristate man stars in this season of 90 Day Fiancé, a TLC reality show following international couples utilizing a K-1 visa, which requires a foreigner to marry their U.S. citizen partner within 90 days of entry. Williamstown, Ky.’s Matt Ryan, general manager of Northern Kentucky Auto Sales in Wilder, brought over his fiancé Alla from Kiev, Ukraine. The show has filmed around town, including during nights out at MJ’s on Main and Myrtle’s Punch House and ring shopping at The Castle! Of note was a shopping trip to Jungle Jim’s where poor Alla looked understandably overwhelmed at the notion of crazy American grocery markets filled with psychotic-looking animatronic characters.

CONTACT T.C. BRITTON: [email protected]

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