Worst Day Ever!

Jan 7, 2011 at 11:02 am

• Gov.-elect John Kasich has made his spending slash a little more difficult with the decision to pay his top aides a lot more than Ted Strickland paid his. Kasich, whose chief of staff's $170,000 salary is approximately what Barack Obama's main man makes, said he has to raise the salaries or his buddies will call him a cheapie and then go work in the private sector where work parties are way more fun because they have unlimited budgets and boring-ass reporters aren't allowed in.—-

• The Bengals have flip-flopped on a perceived agreement to help fill a deficit in the stadium fund, which was agreed to on Dec. 1 but for some reason never signed. Mike Brown said the excellent play of wide receiver Jerome Simpson caused him to feel increased self-confidence amid the team's terrible season and has decided a new scoreboard would be super sweet.

• George Clooney will film parts of his new movie, "Ides of March," in Cincinnati starting in February. Clooney, who recently visited Cincinnati to look around at our buildings and pop into TJMaxx for a coupe of necessary items, reportedly thought Lunken Airport and Memorial Hall were good locations. His movie is about a Democratic governor campaigning in primaries against a real jerk who refers to him by his middle name even though it's normal.

• Bad news for Ohio's birds: the random bird deaths in Arkansas last week are trending north, as reports of dead birds have surfaced in Louisville and Western Kentucky. Also dead: many fish in Arkansas and Maryland, dead crabs in England and dead birds in Louisiana. A spokesman for the Kentucky Department of Fish and Wildlife Services has promised that anyone with knowledge of what happened to the birds who comes forward will be protected by the state from whichever God is guilty.

• Looks like what we re-reported yesterday regarding Campbell County's smoking ban flip-flop could eventually be moot. A new poll suggests that a majority of Kentuckians don't want their stupid neighbors blowing tobacco smoke all over their food, drinks and clothing in public places.

• The chairman of SORTA tells the city of Cincinnati its idea of cutting $1 million in funding to help balance the city budget is a violation of a 38-year contract (not to mention a buncha bullshit).

• The homeless man everybody cares about because he's amusing credits God for his long-awaited good fortune. No word on why God's being so hard on other homeless people or when it's their turn to be on TV.

• USA Today wonders what Sarah Palin's TV show says about Americans. Among the more interesting conclusions is that politics is basically a scripted TV show where experts guide rich people into places and let them shoot guns at whatever they want.

• The Republican-led House of Representatives plans to vote on a health care repeal that has no chance of passing the Senate or the presidential veto pen. Should be fun though. :)

• The UC Bearcats crushed Xavier in the Crosstown Shootout and Dion Dixon got on SportsCenter with a super-slam dunk you can watch here.