Worst Day Ever!

The Enquirer today continued its new policy of “reporting polls sent in by anonymous people because they're sooo controversial.” Actually, today's biased poll is brought to you by The Center for Equal Opportunity, a conservative think-tank whose results show an unfair treatment of white applicants to Miami University. The university said the poll only took into account part of the criteria that goes into the acceptance process and that it was inappropriate for The Enquirer to include in its headline one of these :( —-

The city of Cincinnati is set to pay $93 million to people after they retire due to City Council-approved contracts with city workers. Some will be paid for an extra year after being finished working forever.

Federal investigators have chimed in on the recent drama at the city's public housing authority. Among the allegations straight out of the 1950s are continued discrimination against minorities, keeping poor black people out of certain neighborhoods and former agency chairman Arnold Barnett asking if people sounded black over the phone.

John Boehner took a break from talking mass shit about Democrats to give our nation's leader credit for being an actual citizen of this country.

Arcade Fire won the Grammy for Album of the Year. Justin Bieber didn't win Best New Artist and his legions of fans have taken to trashing the web pages of jazz singer Esperanza Spalding who did.

Energy drinks are bad for kids. Adults who don't mind being on seizure alert are fine though.

Happy Valentine's Day. Here's our unofficial history of the holiday according to an extensive Google search. Have fun getting crappy service at restaurants because they're too busy. Post this Katy Perry video on your partner's Facebook page to show him or her how in love you are. It's the only way to prove it.

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